cannabisnews.com: Big Bong Theory










  Big Bong Theory

Posted by CN Staff on February 03, 2009 at 08:12:20 PT
By Sally Jenkins, Sports Columnist 
Source: Washington Post  

Washington, DC -- So Michael Phelps dove headfirst into the bong water. Is anyone really surprised, after all those laps? There has always been something submerged and escapist about the world's greatest swimmer. When presented with a chamber containing a hazy translucent liquid, he did what's become second nature to him. He buried his face in it. I'm just sorry I wasn't at that University of South Carolina house party to witness Squid Boy's binge firsthand -- not that I would ever make such a staggering misstep myself.
According to the British tabloid News of the World, which ran a photo of Phelps hunched over a glass tube and torching it up quite proficiently with a lighter, he "was out of control from the moment he got there." Can you imagine how much dew he inhaled, with his world-class lung capacity? I don't know exactly what kind of killer nuggets were stuffed into the bowl of that German-made red Roor bong -- why should I know such a thing, or even how to use a lighter -- but they weren't cloves. I'm sure some people will be disappointed in Phelps for partaking of a non-government-approved substance for relaxation. But he merely got caught doing what scores of people -- I'm not saying me -- did every weekend in college, and what many residents of Austin still do every day, given the quite liberal sentencing laws, which I only know about secondhand. According to a study cited in U.S. News & World Report last summer, 42 percent of Americans have at one time or another gotten sweetly baked on hay. No one is condoning illegal activity -- or admitting any. But frankly, it's better than drinking and driving, which is what Phelps did last time. And it's organic! "I'm 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me," Phelps said in a statement. "For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public -- it will not happen again." Or, as David St. Hubbins says in "This Is Spinal Tap," "I'm sure I would be more upset if I wasn't so heavily sedated." We already knew that when Phelps breaks training, he means business. After he won six gold medals at the 2004 Athens Games, he was caught driving under the influence after a party in Maryland. When he's in his competitive season, he swims for five hours a day, every day, 50 miles of laps in a week. When he's on vacation -- well. What did we think he was going to binge on this time, after winning an all-time-record eight gold medals in Beijing? Triscuits? That phrase Phelps used, "people have come to expect from me," is an interesting one. It points to an emerging fact about Phelps, which is that there are two versions of him: the obedient Olympic champion who says and does what's expected of him and the caught-red-handed whiffer, who does the precise opposite, inadvertently countermanding the purist image built by his commercial sponsors. Obviously, Phelps doesn't whiff all the time, or he wouldn't win the way he does. Nevertheless, you get the sense that Phelps periodically needs to bust out of the confines of the pool and of his too-coy image. There's clearly a more genuine and, um, adventurous Phelps than the one he presents. Like most great athletes, he's a creature of extremes, which is a quality egregiously unhealthy corporate sponsors such as Kellogg's and McDonald's don't really like to admit to in their athlete-pitchmen. But maybe it's one more parents should realize is part of the potential cost when their kid announces they want to be a gold medalist like Michael Phelps. Being a champion is frankly not the most healthful career to aspire to; it's an abnormally stressful one. Champions tend to develop out of a state of emotional emergency. Winning is a need. Their training methods are extreme, their goals are extreme and their rewards tend to be extreme. Lance Armstrong is driven by a fatherless childhood, and after the Tour de France he consumes quite epic amounts of beer and ice cream, sometimes together. I once watched Andre Agassi drink an entire bottle of Chianti -- at lunch. Pete Sampras rewarded himself for winning the U.S. Open by gorging on steak until he almost vomited. Phelps is driven partly by a case of boyhood ADHD. One thing we know about him is that his surface opacity, the phlegmatic, almost placid exterior hides a different person beneath the water, a bottomlessly ambitious competitor. As his mother once said, "Under the water there is another level of Michael." Phelps's public apology won't satisfy those people who insist their champions be superhuman ideals. But it's absurd to expect Phelps to maintain his brand of physical and mental discipline 24-7, while the rest of us privately anesthetize to our hearts' content. Maybe it was those very people Phelps wanted to get off his back when he went to a college house party in South Carolina, while visiting a girlfriend. So he sampled the local product, perhaps it was Spanish Trampoline, or Mexibrick, terms which I only picked up on the Internet, and then he probably indulged a late-night craving for frozen waffles and Skittles. Fortunately, Phelps won't face official sanctions. If you want to feel stoned, consider the fact that the draconian World Anti-Doping Agency doesn't penalize out-of-competition recreational drug use, but gives years-long bans for accidental ingestion of over-the-counter meds in season. He shouldn't face the loss of endorsements, either. All he did was behave in an unmeasured and uncalculated way and suffer the bad luck to be photographed doing it. He's already enjoying a fitting punishment: public embarrassment for failing to live up to his commercial pretensions. For one thing, he's being made merciless fun of on the Internet. A wit named Gourmet Spud posted this sendup of his autobiography on Deadspin: "From Breaststrokes to Breasts-Tokes: How I Spent My Summer Olympics Vacation" by Michael Phelps. Another suggested he get a Grateful Dead tattoo on his thigh. And perhaps sign up some new endorsements more in line with his recreational side. Like Doritos, and Taco Bell. Not that I've tasted them late at night after a party. Source: Washington Post (DC)Author: Sally Jenkins, Sports ColumnistPublished: Tuesday, February 3, 2009; Page E01 Copyright: 2009 Washington Post Contact: letters washpost.com Website: http://www.washingtonpost.com/ URL: http://drugsense.org/url/iIZfxA8zRelated Articles:Does Embattled Phelps Deserve a Break?http://cannabisnews.com/news/thread24456.shtmlMichael Phelps, Hypocrisy, & Drug Policyhttp://cannabisnews.com/news/thread24455.shtml

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Comment #23 posted by fight_4_freedom on February 04, 2009 at 11:18:30 PT
Comment #20
Michael Wilbon is a great sports analyst/columnist. But he's got this one all wrong.Like Whoopi Goldberg was saying on the View this morning, it's not like this kid was walking the streets in front of a bunch of kids blowing smoke in their faces. He was at a private party and some ahole decided he could make a killing off of taking a picture of Phelps puffing the herb.He was doing nothing wrong. Trust me, I blew up ESPN with all kinds of e-mails on this one.
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Comment #22 posted by Hope on February 04, 2009 at 08:24:23 PT
The "Stoners".
The "Stoners" that smoke cannabis aren't as dangerous and nasty as the "Stoners" that want to throw rocks, real or figurative, at other people. The latter "Stoners", the ones that want to throw rocks at other people, want to kill someone, or at the very least, hurt or maim them badly.Blood lust and punishment lust is definitely worse than cannabis lust. A person has to be a bit, or more than a bit, "Off" to not see that.
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Comment #21 posted by Hope on February 04, 2009 at 08:17:36 PT
There's a poll on that page...
Phelps a Toke-ing of Pot Legalizers' Affectionhttp://www.philly.com/dailynews/columnists/jill_porter/20090204_Jill_Porter__Phelps_a_toke-ing_of_pot_legalizers__affection.html
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Comment #20 posted by FoM on February 04, 2009 at 07:35:19 PT
Phelps Shouldn't Get a Pass
After Failure of Judgment, Phelps Shouldn't Get a PassFebruary 4, 2009URL: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/03/AR2009020303468.html?hpid=sec-sports
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Comment #19 posted by FoM on February 04, 2009 at 07:22:18 PT
Michael Phelps' Public Stoning
February 4, 2009URL: http://www.denverpost.com/opinion/ci_11620215
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Comment #18 posted by FoM on February 04, 2009 at 07:04:52 PT
Phelps a Toke-ing of Pot Legalizers' Affection
 February 4, 2009URL: http://www.philly.com/dailynews/columnists/jill_porter/20090204_Jill_Porter__Phelps_a_toke-ing_of_pot_legalizers__affection.html
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Comment #17 posted by FoM on February 03, 2009 at 18:54:22 PT
The GCW
Thank you for the poll. I voted.
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Comment #16 posted by The GCW on February 03, 2009 at 18:19:46 PT
POLL
Do you care that Michael Phelps was caught inhaling from a bong? Yes, he's totally misrepresenting America and I want to know more about what he was doing in Columbia. Yes, but he's admitted he he was wrong. Maybe we should give the guy a second chance. No. He shouldn't have smoked, but it's not like it affects my life at all. No. Why does everyone care that the guy smoked pot? Haven't we all? VOTE:http://www.dailygamecock.com/
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Comment #15 posted by Hope on February 03, 2009 at 17:56:23 PT
One thing this woman is right about, for sure.
People aren't looking at reality. Athletes like Phelps are not "normal" people at all. For heaven's sake. That's why they're famous. They are so NOT normal. Why are they so ridiculously gung-ho about wanting not normal people to be their personal idea of role models for their children, on top of everything else? Hmmm. Probably more of that shirking their personal responsibility as a parent.It's not normal to push and punish and hurt yourself for sport like super athletes do. It may be astonishing, admirable, and totally amazing. But it's definitely not "normal".So we want these abnormal people to be role models for our children in hopes that they, too, will become abnormal? Or maybe it's wanting them to be rich and famous... like the role model... and they get to be the parent of the "rich and famous" guy. Hmmm.Reaching for the stars? Competitive? Extraordinarily disciplined and persistent? Going for the gold... big time? Yes all that and more... but not "Normal" in the least.The role models for any child are the more normal people in his or her family. His parents and brothers and sisters, relatives, friends, and neighbors.The crap about being all disappointed in him as a role model for their children is another example of people who want to lay all the responsibility for their children, and how they turn out, all off on some one else... even to some ephemeral, stranger, sports "role model". They want these guys to send the "message" that "Look what you can do with discipline and perseverance!"... then they cap the "Message" off with... but if you displease us in anyway... we'll drop you so fast and hit you so hard, no one will ever want to hear from you again. Busted. Through. Worthless. Great, stupid message to go with all their other really stupid messages they claim to be sending to the children. They want their child to have a real role model, they need to look in the mirror. That's their job, not some sports star's.
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Comment #14 posted by Hope on February 03, 2009 at 15:57:49 PT
Comment 8
And to the truly brave and near fearless Paul Armentano, again, thank you. Good work.I expect you, Mr. Armentano, could easily be one of our true representatives in some form of government in a better future, someday.
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Comment #13 posted by Hope on February 03, 2009 at 15:53:42 PT
Our "Leaders" or "Representatives" 
or what ever they might currently refer to themselves as, are shivering gutless wonders. They are afraid to reign in the monsters that they have turned loose on we... the people.They are yellow livered cowards... too afraid of what they have created to even try to bring sanity to the situation. 
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Comment #12 posted by Hope on February 03, 2009 at 15:48:45 PT
Maryland dog killer cops
They just keep piling on the reasons to literally despise cops in this country.Spit. Spit. Spit. Just thinking of these killer/gestapo/militaristic creeps leaves a bad taste in the mouth."Good guys"? I think not. Very, very much not!
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Comment #11 posted by FoM on February 03, 2009 at 15:23:55 PT
The GCW
I know you are right. Maybe an advisor would be a better term but handler just means control not advice. Michael Phelps didn't get where he is in his young life by being told what to do. He took the bull by the horns and made it happen. 
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Comment #10 posted by Yoshi on February 03, 2009 at 14:41:51 PT:
Sam, Maryland dog killer cops
I'm surprised this police crime didn't get more attention. I live in the area and it just seemed like the medias take was just oh well thats how it goes. The police were totally unapologetic acting like they did nothing wrong, it's so sick. I imagine there are some video clips on the web, this couple was like jimmy stewart and donna reed, I'm sure they'll get a big settlement, and I'd like to think   
our criminal police will be reigned in, won't hold my breath
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Comment #9 posted by The GCW on February 03, 2009 at 13:57:30 PT
FoM , dongenero & potpal
From the way I read it, "handlers" is what they are. The kind of control and manipulation they have is not that of a "counselor."-0-This isn't the best Phelps article... but this is the Washing Post. & the article is saying this isn't a big deal in good ol' boy terms. They're not saying to screw Him.
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Comment #8 posted by paul armentano on February 03, 2009 at 11:04:28 PT
The Hill.com: Why Condemn Phelps??
My take on the Michael Phelps hullabaloo is available on The Hill's blog here:http://tinyurl.com/b2aqg3Here's an excerpt. Feel free to read the full post and comment! (The Hill is an insider paper from members of Congress and their staff; commenting on The Hill's blog is an effective way to make your voice heard before Congress!)Why Condemn Phelps, When We Ought to Condemn the Laws That Brand Him A CriminalFebruary 3rd, 2009Sure, there will be some who will say that this latest chapter in Phelp’s life is deserving of criticism because the 14-time gold medalist is sending a poor message to young children. And what message would that be? That you can occasionally smoke marijuana and still be successful in life. Well sorry if the truth hurts.Fact is, most Americans who use pot do so for the same reasons — and in the same manner — as do those who drink alcohol. According to a recent University of Alberta study, the majority of adults who use cannabis do so recreationally to “enhance relaxation.” Researchers concluded: “[M]ost adult marijuana users regulate use to their recreational time and do not use compulsively. Rather, their use is purposively intended to enhance their leisure activities and manage the challenges and demands of living in contemporary modern society. Generally, participants reported using marijuana because it enhanced relaxation and concentration, making a broad range of leisure activities more enjoyable and pleasurable.”No doubt Michael Phelps indulged in the use of marijuana for these very same reasons. He ought not to be condemned for it nor branded a criminal for his actions.For that matter, neither should anyone else. 
http://tinyurl.com/b2aqg3
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Comment #7 posted by tintala on February 03, 2009 at 10:47:09 PT:
I wonder how many people vomited at the party
Due to ingesting too much alcohol? Mike probably didnt get sick from pulling a bong hit. The fact that he was at a "PARTY" which is deemed innocent with all the beer bongs and whiskey shots didn't even make a note on anyones tabloid. But the godforbidden "pot" sure made it to the tabloids. Why can't this counrty just move forward and accept that pot is a mainstream stress releiver for many. Oh wait , lets just prescribe AMBIEN so that people like Steve Martin admitted to using and gambling inhibriated and won 1,5000$ without even knowing he was doing it, oh but that's so blahze to the tabloids.
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Comment #6 posted by FoM on February 03, 2009 at 09:30:46 PT
Handlers?
Everytime I see the word handlers I think of dogs and how we train and control them. I really dislike that word. I would like the word handlers to be changed to counselor. With the word counselor the person has a right not to listen.Just a thought.
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Comment #5 posted by dongenero on February 03, 2009 at 09:26:04 PT
dumb article
This article is a pretty useless waste of word processing software.This "columnist" seems most intent on he veiled references to her own marijuana use. Hey, if that's the case, quit the coy games and say "WTF, he smoked some weed, "I've done it it and the majority of the people in this country have." End of story.If someone wants to complain or tear the guy down over it, I say go win a handful plus of gold medals in the Olympics then tell us how wrong Phelps got it. Bunch of "effing" hypocrites in this country. Maybe these people should try it as well. They may find their own path to excellence in their field. Phelps shouldn't be embarrassed by a bunch of whining, out-of-touch, hypocrites. Taking some hits off a bong at a party do not a drug abuser make.
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Comment #4 posted by runruff on February 03, 2009 at 09:23:55 PT
I say....
....bong hits for cheeses!
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Comment #3 posted by Sam Adams on February 03, 2009 at 09:19:59 PT
Sunday Washington Post on Maryland dog-killer raid
Excellent article on this atrocity of the American police state. Note that the cops involved have received no punishment whatsoeverhttp://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/23/AR2009012302935_5.html?sid=ST2009013002471&s_pos=
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Comment #2 posted by FoM on February 03, 2009 at 09:13:35 PT
SC Sheriff Investigating Phelps' Pot Pipe Pic
February 3, 2009http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation/AP/story/884530.html
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Comment #1 posted by potpal on February 03, 2009 at 09:06:56 PT
sally stick to sports
Please. You suck on social commentary. After reading your take on it, I wanna hit a bong to forget. You're hurting us, more than helping, thanks but no thanks.
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