Hemp, Hemp Hurray for Drug Reform

Hemp, Hemp Hurray for Drug Reform
Posted by FoM on August 18, 2001 at 07:45:48 PT
By Rex Murphy
Source: Globe and Mail
I do so hope Allan Rock hurries with the marijuana reforms. The state of this country's penal laws is a real downer. A country without free and open access to the great hemp high is a blight on the very idea of civilization. I'm on the verge of giving up cigarettes and am naturally very interested in an alternate source of socially affirmative inhaling.If all of us who are being bullied off the sweet charms of nicotine can be encouraged in the belief that there is an open road to a stubby stick of cannabis, and a pat on the head from the federal Department of Health, then farewell Tobacco Road and break out the Grateful Dead.
Once pot is passed, we must further hope that the slender reed of an excuse that gives the pretext for its legalization -- medical benefit -- will be quickly leveraged, and we can go on to champion greater access to the numbing weed for all ages and all places at all times. And hashish. Please let us not forget hash.No more hiding in the dark, lurking in convenience stores trying to load up on cigarette papers, hustling off to some corner to "roll your own," spraying every item of clothing with Pledge or some other potent fumigating camouflage. Now the pot people can celebrate their pungency, and another of the numberless disadvantaged can finally come out of the narcotic closet.We will, of course, want our own space in restaurants. The pot-disinclined will mutter at first, but when a band of spaced-out mellowheads comes wheeling in with a mass visitation of the munchies, where is the restaurateur staring at a Manic Hunger with a Full Wallet who will want to turn us away?Besides, a few minutes under a cloud of passive secondhand pot will soon have everyone under the same roof inert with good vibes, and that blurry camaraderie that is the surest signature of a brain that has found a better use for its neurons than mere alert consciousness.I predict we're in for a revival of folk music; there is nothing more likely to induce protracted moaning over the strum of an accoustic guitar than a deep collective buzz from dear sweet mary jane. The zen of a good stone is that deep empty place where Dylan makes sense, and lyrics that have been peeled off the more socially conscious bumper stickers leave you limp with enlightenment.It'll make going to the movies fun again. The problem with today's movies isn't that they're so stupid. It's that the audiences attending them are alert and coherent. This is not the natural order of things. Anything with David Spade, Carmen Electra or Adam Sandler in it was designed for a lowered consciousness. These movies are meant to be watched for their bright colours and all that heavy Dolby, as kinetic wallpaper for a good high.Now that it's almost legal, we've got to plan. The lack of information must be addressed instantly. Good advertising -- that's what Mr. Rock has got to get his bureaucrats on.We must grade our pot according to its potency. The quick stone. The gradual buzz. The intense and durable high. The gradual long lungful medium mellow. And brands. We must have brands. And billboards on which to advertise them. And good packaging. I'd like to see a line of Pink Floyd doobies. Ah, psychedelia -- 'tis thou has ravished me.Now all those artistic celebrations that were wasted on the cigarette crowd -- your fireworks, jazz festivals, light shows, the Formula 1 races and ballets -- they'll have a sponsor again. Toke night at the opera. They'll come in droves and think it's Peter, Paul and Mary gone German.Better packaging, too. Think Rothmans weed -- with filters. No more spitting out the seeds and losing the most potent toke because the cigarette papers caught fire, or your fingers are singed and blistered from trying to suck the last millimetre of your spliff down to its last flaring stalk.Marijuana legal has another advantage. We will be able to buy our inhales in drugstores again. "I'd like a carton of du Maurier Hemp, king size, extra mild, please." Good jokes, too. "Camels please -- the two-hump hemp."The timing couldn't be better. It's like Fate. Apoclaypse Now,a movie that hemp made (and that could only be watched under hemp's spell) is out again. We can watch a longer and more boring version and not notice that its longer or more boring. Wow.We're on the brink of the greatest benison to the brain and lung since the invention of oxygen and the spinal column. Life is going to be so much better when we're all stoned. Legally. And if it isn't -- well, who in hell will give a damn? Thanks, Allan. Rex Murphy is a commentator with CBC-TV's National Magazine and host of CBC Radio One's Cross-Country Checkup. Source: Globe and Mail (Canada)Author: Rex MurphyPublished: Saturday, August 18, 2001 Copyright: 2001 The Globe and Mail CompanyContact: letters globeandmail.caWebsite: Articles & Web Site:Canadian Links Tied on Drug Laws, Senator Says Keep Blowing Smoke CannabisNews Articles - Canada 
Home Comment Email Register Recent Comments Help

Comment #2 posted by Midru on August 19, 2001 at 18:53:02 PT:
definitely sarcastic
I think a lot of the story was sarcastic. It's tough to tell, though. It sounds to me like many non-stoners view of smoking and stoners- yeah, let 'em do it, but they're stupid. That's okay with me, as long as they let US do what we want!
[ Post Comment ]

Comment #1 posted by J.R. Bob Dobbs on August 18, 2001 at 09:11:38 PT
  It's like that dialogue in The Simpsons when they go to Hullabalooza: "Dude, are you being sarcastic?" "I don't even know any more, man!"  All the reasons he cites above are OK - there's certainly nothing wrong with wanting to get high, or wanting to buy it in a store. But he neglects to mention the best benefits of legalization. No more major profits for criminals (unless you count the government!)... No more turning 25% or more of your otherwise law-abiding population into criminals. No more lies!  Saying you want to legalize just because you want to get high will undoubtedly turn some people off. Saying you want to end the drug war and free the people sounds much more appealing to a wider spectrum of people.
[ Post Comment ]

Post Comment