cannabisnews.com: Christie Seeks To Delay Medical Marijuana Law

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††Christie Seeks To Delay Medical Marijuana Law

Posted by CN Staff on May 27, 2010 at 04:32:32 PT
By Rita Giordano and Adrienne Lu, Staff Writers†
Source: Philadelphia Inquirer†

New Jersey -- Gov. Christie wants to delay by up to a year implementation of a bill that would allow the use of medical marijuana by seriously ill patients. The law, signed by Gov. Jon S. Corzine in January, was to go into effect in July, with marijuana distribution to start by October. The governor seeks a postponement of six to 12 months to ensure that the proper regulations and controls are in place, said his spokesman, Michael Drewniak.
"This has got to be done right," said Drewniak, who noted that marijuana remains a controlled substance. "It's a complicated issue. There are logistical issues that have to be dealt with absolutely correctly." Sen. Nicholas P. Scutari (D., Linden), a prime sponsor of the law, said the administration asked him to introduce a bill to extend the implementation deadline. He is considering it, Scutari said, but reluctantly. "Lots and lots of people . . . have inquired about getting into manufacture and distribution of this medicine," Scutari said. "It's not that complicated. It's a weed." Supporters of marijuana for medical use expressed dismay that its availability in New Jersey could be postponed. "There must be no delay in implementing this law," Ken Wolski, a nurse and executive director of the Coalition for Medical Marijuana-New Jersey, said in a statement. "Patients are suffering now, and to tell them they must continue to suffer for another year because of the bureaucrats in Trenton is unacceptable." When Corzine signed the bill, New Jersey became the 14th state to legalize the medical use of marijuana. The law removes penalities for possession and use of the drug when it is prescribed by a licensed physician. Access would be limited to people with "debilitating medical conditions," including severe or chronic pain, severe nausea or vomiting, and terminal illnesses such as cancer and AIDS. Patients must register with the state and will be limited to two ounces of marijuana every 30 days. The drug will be available through for-profit and non-profit alternative-treatment centers regulated by the state. Patients cannot grow their own marijuana. The state Health Department has received many inquiries from patients who want to utilize the drug and people who hope to become operators of alternative-treatment centers. "Hundreds of people have contacted the department," said agency spokeswoman Donna Leusner.Source: Philadelphia Inquirer, The (PA)Author:  Rita Giordano and Adrienne Lu, Inquirer Staff WritersPublished: May 27, 2010Copyright: 2010 Philadelphia Newspapers Inc.URL: http://drugsense.org/url/WobSNIvJContact: Inquirer.Letters phillynews.comWebsite: http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/CannabisNews Medical Marijuana Archiveshttp://cannabisnews.com/news/list/medical.shtml 

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Comment #267 posted by Hope on July 29, 2010 at 07:56:52 PT
No Arms No Legs No Worries
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA
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Comment #266 posted by Hope on July 29, 2010 at 07:55:39 PT
Gloovins
Thank you.I know you know well of that which you speak.
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Comment #265 posted by Hope on July 25, 2010 at 19:19:57 PT
  :0)
You'll are a part of the source of any of my strength.You are. Really.I'm blessed.
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Comment #264 posted by gloovins on July 24, 2010 at 22:48:37 PT
Hope....
Yes strength is so important...I know you will have as much possible in your battle. Stay positive, strong and I will be sending good, healing vibes your way....All my best -~ Gloovins
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Comment #263 posted by paint with light on July 24, 2010 at 16:48:05 PT
Strength
It is good to hear the strength of spirit in your words. I was hoping all day yesterday that the chemo, the travel, the (all that other stuff) had not worn you down too much.Even though it was probably hot and muggy, I bet it felt good to breathe in that unfiltered outside air at least for a moment until it is time to return to coolness.I now feel like I know you even better than I did through your written words. I kept referencing your written self and your speaking self. In some people there is quite a difference.In your case I just felt even more of what I have come to know and respect here at Cnews. Your strength of character and resolve are intoned in your voice. I could feel a quite a bit of Molly Ivins in there. She was one of my favorite political writers, and I think a fellow Texan.Someday we are going to have to kick back on that porch and spend an afternoon just chattin'.Thanks for the conversation friend.
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Comment #261 posted by Hope on July 24, 2010 at 11:01:29 PT

"Not at people... just stuff."
Strangely... even with the cussing springing so quickly lightly to my lips... I feel love for everyone, the earth and all God's creation and creatures more than ever... and I've always loved and cared deeply about people and all of creation. But now... more than ever, somehow. I didn't know this extra light of love was waiting for me with this experience.So, all in all... though I don't feel well... I've got a lot of thankfulness and joy going on. That's good. That's always good and it brings on a beautiful kind of feeling better in spite of it all. Like light... Light... in a dark room.Love you guys!Keep it up! We're wearing this terrible, catastrophic, deadly, hateful, destructive prohibition down. Like water on a rock. We're doing it!
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Comment #260 posted by Hope on July 24, 2010 at 10:53:22 PT

 :0)
Still alive!It's thrilling to wake up alive each day. I completely intend to remember and appreciate that feeling even after getting past all this and surviving. It's a nice feeling. Reveling in just being alive.Keep up the workin on 'em! You'll are doing good. I got a bit of chemo brain going on... so I feel lucky to comprehend... but maybe not comment.You'd think brushing so close to death would make me sweeter and nicer and thinking about maybe trying to be a better person than I've been heretofore.... but nah. My propensity for cussing a blue streak has vastly increased with the chemotherapy! I've even blurted some MFs before I could stop myself. Not at people... just stuff. It makes me laugh when I do, though. Either the experience or the medicines themself, is making me mean, rough... and BA... and I don't meant like baa... like a sheep... I mean like B-- A--. Get out of my way. Harley coming through! If I had one. :0) I need leather clothes and hobnail boots, too... no doubt.Maybe the forehead to nape Mohawk I sported for an hour or two the other evening before I went whole hog shaved gave me more attitude than I needed. Escape From Thunderdrome!Varoooom!
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Comment #259 posted by FoM on July 22, 2010 at 10:32:35 PT

Hope
I am so happy you will get to go home today! Yippie!
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Comment #258 posted by Hope on July 22, 2010 at 09:45:12 PT

Finally getting chemotherapy... right now.
Should be home this evening. So I won't be at that hospital number anymore in a couple of hours. Thanks so much to all of you that called me while I had this sort of public phone number.
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Comment #257 posted by Hope on July 21, 2010 at 20:01:13 PT

Paint with light
I enjoyed our talk today and hearing another of my C-News friend's voice.Thank you!And Happy, Happy Birthday!
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Comment #256 posted by FoM on July 21, 2010 at 11:36:20 PT

Hope
I am glad to read you are doing better. Soon you will be able to come home but you are getting good care right where you are for now. I know you know that too.
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Comment #255 posted by Hope on July 21, 2010 at 10:14:34 PT

By the way...
I am doing well. Very well, under the circumstances. Got my computer, my Nook, a TV, a telephone and entire wall panoramic view of the sky and downtown Dallas... decent food and very kind people looking out for me... and so many people caring... which means so very much. Including you guys...thank you.Stay after the prohibitionists and their unjust laws ... we're wearing 'em down!:0)
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Comment #254 posted by Hope on July 21, 2010 at 10:05:07 PT

thank you, Ekim
Still in the hospital... but they moved me to a different room with a different phone number.214-818-7658Maybe I can get the chemo and go home tomorrow. Blood tests look good today... so maybe I'll be able to.

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Comment #253 posted by ekim on July 19, 2010 at 20:25:47 PT

gee thought i would say good luck
to Hope and then started to scroll down and i did not realize how far down it was to the bottom,good luck and thank you for all you have written for the people 
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Comment #252 posted by Hope on July 19, 2010 at 20:12:07 PT

Just now checked in...
BGreen, you'll can call anytime. I might be out of pocket from time to time. Just try again if I am. It looks like I'm going to be here for a little while yet.Had Enough called me this evening. It was wonderful to get to talk to him and hear his voice. He's working hard to resist Calvina Fay's efforts to squash PUFM's efforts to get enough signatures to get an initiative on the Florida ballot for 2012. They've got a daunting task ahead of them, but they've got an early and solid start. I think they'll do it. God and everybody else... please help them.
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Comment #251 posted by BGreen on July 19, 2010 at 11:30:10 PT

Do you feel like talking today?
We don't want to bother you if you're feeling bad but we would love to call you for a brief visit if it might make you feel better.No pressure, just asking. We understand.Bud
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Comment #250 posted by Hope on July 19, 2010 at 10:57:18 PT

:0)
Thank you, Bro. Green.I loved talking with you and Mrs. Green the other day. Thank you for calling me. It meant a lot to me.

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Comment #249 posted by BGreen on July 19, 2010 at 10:52:48 PT

Yay!
GREAT NEWS, HOPE!Happy dance, happy dance!Yay!Bud
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Comment #248 posted by Hope on July 19, 2010 at 10:48:39 PT

Something I know that would make me feel better
and a lot of other people feel so much better is if Congress ended cannabis prohibition federally today... or very soon, for sure.That would be good.I think they're back in session.
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Comment #247 posted by FoM on July 19, 2010 at 10:41:16 PT

Hope
That is great about the size of the tumor shrinking. 
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Comment #246 posted by Hope on July 19, 2010 at 10:11:25 PT

comment 220 BGreen 
"I couldn't be sending any more positive vibes to you if I had a twenty-foot antenna attached to my head (I know because I tried.)":0)You went outside and leaned your head against the antennae pole, didn't you?Lol!I do love my crazy, colorful, free thinking friends.When I had to cut my long hair, I thought of Museman's hair/antenna theory. I thought, "Dang! It could be more than hair and my security blanket I'm losing!"
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Comment #245 posted by Hope on July 19, 2010 at 09:48:05 PT

When they increase the heparin
I feel bad. I didn't even look at the computer yesterday.I feel bad today because they are pushing in a little more for extra clot dissolving power. I apparently had quite a batch of clots.Did want to come on and tell my friends that the oncologist told me this morning, that in spite of missing some chemo and this set back...that the tumor is considerably smaller and not to be concerned about the holdup in the chemo. Got to deal with the clots.:0)
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Comment #244 posted by Hope on July 19, 2010 at 09:35:17 PT

"trying to book me gigs"
Yep. I would. If I knew how to do it.
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Comment #243 posted by FoM on July 19, 2010 at 06:07:43 PT

BGreen
You're a sweetheart. You won't harass me at all. LOL!
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Comment #242 posted by BGreen on July 19, 2010 at 05:57:06 PT

Thanks, FoM
I was hoping you had spoken to her. I think we'll call and harass her a little today. It's amazing to me but Hope was much more concerned about my little music debacle than about herself. There are very few people in my life that would even think about something like that while they were lying in a hospital bed after surgery and now I know Hope is one of them. I think Hope would be out trying to book me gigs if we lived closer to each other. "Hire BGreen or else I'll rip these IV lines right out!" LOLI would gladly and I mean GLADLY give up any hopes of a music career if it would in any way restore the health of Hope, FoM, Stick, runruff, Storm Crow, EJohnson, or anybody else who posts here. Without our health we can't be all we're meant to be or want to be. I will be just fine.You know I'm going to have to use that information to harass you, too. It's not too late to change your mind. Call her now! :)Bud
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Comment #241 posted by FoM on July 19, 2010 at 04:44:49 PT

BGreen
I talked to Hope yesterday. She was doing better then the day you talked to her. She was happy because her great grand daughter had been brought to the hospital to see her. She still doesn't know when she will get to come home though. PS: I got the information from you that you gave Hope and I told her to give you the same information when you call her again.
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Comment #240 posted by BGreen on July 18, 2010 at 21:36:53 PT

We didn't want to bother you today
I'm trusting no news is good news.I hope today was a better day than yesterday for you comfort-wise. Of course, nothing can beat the talk we had yesterday. On second thought, having your doctor come in saying "we just can't find any signs of cancer in you" does beat our talk.Bud
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Comment #239 posted by BGreen on July 18, 2010 at 01:55:29 PT

A Personal Note To Hope From Mrs. Green
Hope:I'm thrilled over the chance to talk to you personally. I feel like I've known you forever ... and, actually, I have. I always thought that it would be great to meet the CNews friends. Sad that it had to come down to you having cancer to get a chance to speak. I'll take it, though.You sound strong and this setback is just a minor inconvenience. I know you will beat this. You've beaten a lot of bad things in your life. You are strong! Love conquers all.We love you!Mrs. Green
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Comment #238 posted by BGreen on July 17, 2010 at 22:21:42 PT

Aw, shucks
I knew it was a good idea to use that James Earl Jones voice-over app on my smart phone. I thought I had blown it when I accidentally said "This is CNN" but I think Hope was too tired to notice. Whew!It was like talking to a long-time friend. Mrs. Green keeps going on about how great it was to talk to somebody we've wanted to talk to but were always reluctant to take that step out of the proverbial closet to ever get a chance. Imagine how I feel since all Mrs. Green has ever heard is me reading what you all have written. It's all that exciting and more for me to put an accent on the words I've read.Get some rest, Hope. Thanks, FoM, for the post and for creating this website which has brought us all together. It's all for a reason and I'm a better person for it.Bud
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Comment #237 posted by Hope on July 17, 2010 at 21:46:45 PT

Thank you Sensimilla! 
I can kick. I just kicked my leg up for them to take my blood pressure. They can't use my left arm because of the blood clots and the other arm is a pincushion. But I can kick it right up for them to wrap the thing around. And I have those massaging leggings on, too... to keep me from forming more clots in my legs... and I can kick them up too. I can't run too far in them because they are attached to the bed... but given a little time I can unattach myself from the bed by these little connectors and take off anywhere I can drag this IV pole. I'd have to unattach the oxygen from the wall... but I could run, and kick, after that... if I chose to do so. Thank you. :0)I did enjoy talking to Bro. and Mrs. Green. He has a beautiful deep really lovely voice, not at all like Charlie Brown's teacher, and Mrs. Green has a beautiful voice and a laugh like tinkling bells. I'm glad they called. I love them.I wouldn't know them if we passed each other on the street... but if I sensed their spirit... I'd know them...and I'd know I loved them like the old friends that they have become.
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Comment #236 posted by FoM on July 17, 2010 at 21:28:00 PT

BGreen
Hope e-mailed me and told that she loves you and Mrs. Green so much. You made her day! PS: She has had a couple of bad days but she has a good fighting Spirit as we all know.
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Comment #235 posted by BGreen on July 17, 2010 at 20:21:42 PT

It was a great day
Mrs. Green and I talked to Hope and we feel great. We should all be able to talk with each other. I hope we didn't wear her out too much. She was sounding pretty worn out by the end of our talk. Who could blame her with all of my steady stream of unconsciousness masquerading as a thought process which I'm sure sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. Wah, wah wah, wah wah wah.Yes, indeed, a great day talking to Hope.Bud
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Comment #234 posted by BGreen on July 17, 2010 at 19:11:36 PT

Yes, It's Really Me
Bud B. Green in the flesh (or at least converted into an electrical signal, broadcast to a tower, sent over wires and then converted into waves that are currently being implanted right into your brain.)
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Comment #233 posted by Sinsemilla Jones on July 17, 2010 at 18:12:50 PT

"Still alive!"
VERY glad to hear that, Hope!Hope you can add kickin' to that alive real soon!
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Comment #232 posted by FoM on July 17, 2010 at 12:02:19 PT

Hope
I will call you later tonight then. I am glad you are feeling a little better today.
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Comment #231 posted by Hope on July 17, 2010 at 11:46:47 PT

Still alive...
Still alive! Sometimes it seems barely. But still alive.Yesterday was plenty rough. Today is better. I'd love to hear your voice, BGreen... and any of the rest of my C-News friends that wanted to call. Of course, none of us should give out our home phone numbers on a public forum... and I was kind of leery of posting the hospital room's phone number. It would make me feel even worse than I do if Calvina called me up and cussed me out. But maybe she won't.They're planning on doing some sort of procedure on me about two o'clock. But who knows if they will right then or not. Usually no procedures in the evenings though, for sure... except blood tests. They do them every few hours to manage some sort of blood thinning medicines they are dosing me with.
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Comment #230 posted by FoM on July 17, 2010 at 11:02:31 PT

BGreen
I haven't talked to Hope today. I will probably call her late on this afternoon. I know she would love a call if you want to call her. She said no one called but me. It's a private room and she can answer even with all the tubes they have in her right now. 
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Comment #229 posted by BGreen on July 17, 2010 at 09:52:07 PT

I hope you're feeling better today, Hope
Just thinking about you.Bud
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Comment #228 posted by FoM on July 16, 2010 at 12:30:45 PT

Update on Hope
I just called the hospital and I talked to Hope's husband. She was just brought up from recovery and will probably be in the hospital all weekend. So far so good.
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Comment #227 posted by FoM on July 15, 2010 at 17:53:29 PT

Hope
I'm glad you are feeling better. I think sometimes when an earthquake happens and how people who lose everything and sometimes family members seem to just move on thru it. There comes a time when we all hit a point during a crisis that all we can do is move on thru it. You will be home soon and your TV will be hooked up on the 23rd I think you said. Try to think of how much fun it will be to be able to watch whatever you want to watch! That should make you smile a little. Love Ya Lady
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Comment #226 posted by Hope on July 15, 2010 at 17:27:22 PT

BGreen
I love you, Bro. No... don't get cancer... it's a lousy reason to get your own thread.I chose this one to ask for your love and prayers... because of some certain governor thinking there's always time to wait about legalizing this plant.More than anything... because the nausea medicine they've given me is working for me.... I'd appreciate the anti-anxiety and spirit lifting help of cannabis. Well... that and, definitely, the anti tumor effects. As you can see from my post the night before I went for the chemotherapy Tuesday, I'm having a lot of trouble being brave in the face of all this. I've got to stop thinking about it altogether. I won't think about being brave or being afraid. I'll just be.But I'm doing fine. I'm still alive.FoM, I am feeling better than yesterday. This heparin in large amounts makes you feel kind of bad. They had to cut back on the amount I was getting because there was getting to be too much in my blood. I'm getting less today so it's not so bad. They take blood about every four hours to monitor how saturated I am with the stuff.Heparin. Imagine that. I try not to. It really is helping save my life, though... as long as all goes well. I just wish it was made here in the US in stainless steel or glass vats in nice, clean, inspected factories. But... Oh well."You can't always get what you want.... but if you try sometimes... you just might find... you get what you need" Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones.Love you all.:0)
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Comment #225 posted by FoM on July 15, 2010 at 13:35:49 PT

Hope
It's great to see you post. I hope you are feeling a little better now.
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Comment #224 posted by Hope on July 15, 2010 at 13:21:47 PT

Maaaannnn!
Life can change fast!Christie.... some people don't have that "wait... wait... wait" option. Things strike suddenly and hard. No time for planning gardens and horticultural endeavors.
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Comment #223 posted by Hope on July 15, 2010 at 13:19:53 PT

:0)
Posting from a hospital bed in the Big D.Doing fine.Surgery in the morning.Old port out. New one in. On blood thinners to avoid more blood clots from here on out.
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Comment #222 posted by FoM on July 15, 2010 at 10:03:41 PT

Update on Hope
I just got off the phone with Hope. She isn't feeling very well today. She is scheduled for them to remove the port and insert it on the other side of her heart tomorrow morning. She hasn't seen the doctor today but she thinks they will do it tomorrow. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
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Comment #221 posted by FoM on July 14, 2010 at 10:14:16 PT

Update On Hope
I just talked to Hope in the hospital. She won't have surgery until Friday morning. Her husband brought her laptop to the hospital for her so maybe later on she will be able to drop in and say how she is feeling.
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Comment #220 posted by BGreen on July 14, 2010 at 03:26:52 PT

Hoover Dam, Beaver Dam and AmsterDam it
I didn't even see this until after midnight. As much as I wanted to grab the phone at that moment I figured it would be inappropriate, even coming from me.I couldn't be sending any more positive vibes to you if I had a twenty-foot antenna attached to my head (I know because I tried.)In all seriousness, this is just another bump in the road. You might have to replace a tire and get your alignment straightened but it will NOT prevent you from reaching your destination of FULL COMPLETE HEALING AND RESTORATION OF YOUR EARTHLY BODY!Did you hear me, Hope? I don't want to have to shout again because that hurt my throat.I'm with you every single second. Feed off of the energy.I love you, Hope!Bud
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Comment #219 posted by FoM on July 13, 2010 at 17:46:14 PT

Update on Hope
I just got off the phone with Hope. Today she went to the hospital for her second Chemo treatment. When she got there they found blood clots in the Port area. She is in Baylor Hospital. She might be going into surgery in the morning to remove the Port but right now they are giving her Heparin to try to thin her blood. We talked about this and we agreed that it would be ok to post her hospital room phone number. If you want to give her a quick call for some support you can reach her at: 214-818-7656. Please remember her in your thoughts and prayers.
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Comment #218 posted by FoM on July 13, 2010 at 04:18:18 PT

BGreen
You are a good good man!
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Comment #217 posted by BGreen on July 12, 2010 at 21:04:03 PT

I Call Dibs On The Thread Entitled
Cannabis Partakers Finally Free; Finally, Free Cannabis For PartakersI will not get cancer just to get my own thread so calling dibs is my only chance. I will, however, be happy to claim any thread having to do with the re-legalization of cannabis. I would prefer not having the name of some derelict governor in the title, but it's too late to change your mind, Hope. FoM has already given this to you and it's rude to return a gift. Don't be rude, Hope. That's usually my job.Oops, that was rude of me. Of course you can be rude if you want to, Hope. I don't want you to get mad because then you'll just take your thread and go home.I tell you what. I volunteer FoM to transfer all 217+ posts from this thread into any other thread you want. Am I generous or what?(SMILE)Bud
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Comment #216 posted by FoM on July 12, 2010 at 20:08:10 PT

Hope
It is your thread. 
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Comment #215 posted by Hope on July 12, 2010 at 18:53:14 PT

My thread
Maybe it is.Maybe I love it.Maybe I will keep and treasure it forever and ever.
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Comment #214 posted by Hope on July 12, 2010 at 18:35:47 PT

Unafraid
Feeling, exhibiting, or expressing no fear.http://www.answers.com/topic/unafraidI shall be, I am, unafraid. I am brave. I am courageous. I shall feel no fear. I shall exhibit no fear. I shall express no fear. I am unafraid.

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Comment #213 posted by Hope on July 12, 2010 at 18:31:25 PT

BGreen
Besides you weren't whining. You were expressing anger and disgust. Whining is about sorrow, bitterness, and disappointment. Well maybe you were a little. :0)But like I said... it's called for now and then.
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Comment #212 posted by Hope on July 12, 2010 at 14:56:39 PT

It's not my thread...
and if it was... I'd want you guys to speak on it... just like you are. We're all in this together. You all and what is happening with you all is important to me. Sometimes the situation calls for a bit of whining, BGreen.Then we shake it off and keep going if we possibly can.And thankfully... we usually can.
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Comment #211 posted by BGreen on July 11, 2010 at 23:40:10 PT

Hope
Thank you for letting me hijack your thread in order to whine about something that, in terms of what others like yourself are going through, is trivial and a waste of energy."Push em back... push em back... waaaay back." :)Bud
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Comment #210 posted by Paint with light on July 11, 2010 at 19:17:49 PT

Hope
Thanks for letting me borrow your thread to reach out to BGreen.
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Comment #209 posted by Paint with light on July 11, 2010 at 19:14:27 PT

No problem BGreen
At least you didn't call me "taint with spite" like one cnewser did.It sounds like you and Mrs Green have a wonderful relationship.She would always be welcome in my house.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9wD-vv1sRUHere is a link to stir the memories. This might be before your playing days but not before your listening days.http://nashlinks.com/sixties.htmHalfway down the page is a band called Libido. All the pictures are from before I joined them. I replaced the keyboard player for about a year before college called.Play on bro'.

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Comment #208 posted by BGreen on July 11, 2010 at 03:07:50 PT

paint with light ... so sorry
I'm not really in my right mind ... and my left mind makes a lot of mistakes. LOLBud
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Comment #207 posted by BGreen on July 11, 2010 at 02:52:13 PT

You are EXACTLY right, Hope
To be fired because of your tone is like being fired as a truck driver because you mis-adjusted the bass and treble knobs on the stereo. Miss Diva doesn't understand the physics of sound. When you use an amplifier for guitar on stage that isn't mic'd or run through the house PA, the volume has to be louder and more trebly than you would really want it to be on stage. That's the only way to get a decent mix in the middle and back of the club. Her old unreliable and horrible guitarist used a single Tube Screamer for his entire four sets. For the uninitiated, a Tube Screamer is a distortion pedal. When used by itself, your tone is pretty much the same on every song. When you're playing everything from Aretha Franklin to Stevie Wonder and Lenny Kravitz to Jimi Hendrix, a little freaking tonal variety is (or should have been) desirable.Another thing I just remembered she accused me of was "going out of the scale" in my improvisation. Ha freaking Ha! We have only 12 semitones (notes) in Western music and every single one of them can be used AND defended through music theory on any chord. A chromatic run is as American as Blues music itself. Damn me to hell for studying and utilizing music theory!Paint By Light, the notoriety and fame is a distant part of my dream. I've been fighting and having my heart habitually broken just to play regularly around locally. I always do all of the work and watch it f'd up by other people. This was supposed to be different. The only reason I need to play in quality venues is because I need to be compensated for my skills and investments in time and equipment. I bring over $6,000 worth of axes and rig with me to a show. This diva already had shows booked at nice venues. She's now apparently going to play these shows with the same guitarist she complained was ruining her reputation. She wasn't always a crazy lunatic, though. For the first three weeks I knew her she was exactly like I was. We wanted the same thing and blamed others for not getting it. I saw potential in her. I also saw stress which I attributed to her rantings about her band members. They wouldn't come to practice, they wouldn't show up for a sound check and the show suffered.My biggest clue came Wednesday night when Mrs. Green and I arrived at the club at 7:30 as instructed by Miss Diva, only for her to finally roll in at 9:10 without comment or excuse. We had no sound check and I didn't eat because we just sat around wondering. Diva was totally stressed out when she showed up so I just became the scapegoat. There's no way in hell that I could have caused it when she brought it.I was thinking of a lot of four-letter words about her, but can anyone say "coke" or "meth?"Once again, I'll repeat that an average or sub par guitarist WILL get compliments from people when they're confronted or coerced, but they will NOT get chased down and cornered by people in between sets who literally gush with praises for your work.I opened up my heart for this band and allowed myself to get hurt. Every single band I've had in 30 years has ended up like this. Twice my bands have broken up because somebody had a problem with the fact that Mrs. Green goes to all of my practices and gigs. That's been the way it's been since I met her 30-years-ago this September and that will NEVER CHANGE! If somebody thinks my wife keeps them from being able to perform then they are scapegoating. No reasonable person I've ever asked could offer a plausible explanation as to why somebody who can't perform in front of a single friendly woman might be able to perform in front of a few hundred.I thought this might be different but it wasn't. I need a front person for my talents to be of any value. I was so hesitant to share my joy just because I had a sinking feeling it would turn out like everything else. It's hard to depend on anybody but ourselves. When you experience decades of others ruining everything you've ever tried to accomplish it just isn't that easy to keep jumping into the next thing. I only did it this time because I felt certain this time would be different. I've NEVER in my entire career had my playing criticized, never directly to my face or overheard behind my back. I've been praised by some of the best, many of them well known by all of you. I have nothing to apologize for when it comes to my playing.Oh well, my friends presented Mrs. Green and I with a bottle of champagne on Friday night. They were so proud and blown away at my playing. They had been bragging all over the place about me to their grown children (all musicians) and, as I know my friends, if they didn't mean it the subject would just have never been brought up again. They're wonderful people and they wouldn't want to hurt us but they aren't liars.The people that meant the most to me loved what I did and I did, too. That's why I know it wasn't me and that diva just wanted all of the attention for herself. Either that or she suffers from Stockholm Syndrome and is purposefully sabotaging her own career.That's kind of like finding fatter friends to hang around with to make you look thinner instead of working on yourself and surrounding yourself with equally attractive people so you all look dynamite.Just like all of us here at CNews. :)Bud
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Comment #206 posted by Paint with light on July 10, 2010 at 23:55:28 PT

Music biz
It is hard not to let one interaction make us question our dreams.I am sure I am not the musician you are, but I have played in a lot of bands and have played with some pretty good players.I've never seen a real professional and highly talented musician respond as she did.I found that the better the talent the more helpful they are.We had a couple of staff musicians from Muscle Shoals that used to sit in with us. It felt funny to start to turn to one of them and ask if they new a song and realize they had played on the record. They were two of the most humble people I ever knew in the business.I have heard it said by more than one professional that the only difference between them and all the wannabes was determination and luck.Luck in the form of the right gig, the right contact, the right opening. and a hefty dose of dedication.Making a living off music is a lot like making a living off other art forms.Do it because you love it.Hope for recognition, but don't obsess on it.I have played in bands often where tears will flow just from the joy of how good it sounds. That kind of feeling you can't buy.One famous blues musician said the reason he always wore dark glasses was so the people wouldn't see the tears.My worst time in a band was when we had spent two years putting together about thirty original songs and had everything as tight as it could get and then........the drummer leaves for another band.The right combination of personnel, styles, musicianship, personalities, timing, and opportunities rarely come together to stay.Give me the key of E and some 12 bar blues anytime.Just don't do any of that tuning a half step down.It makes the keyboards too hard to play(the transpose setting has helped).Wish I could be there to help you jam the blues away. 
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Comment #205 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 17:14:11 PT

BGreen
Of course, I know nothing about the music business... but it looks to me like if you hire someone as a guitarist for your band... and you don't like the way they are playing... you might mention that to them and ask them to play like you want them to play... instead of just dumping them on the spot without even giving them a chance to do it like you want them to.That's puzzling.Divaness, I guess.Again... I'm so sorry. 

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Comment #204 posted by FoM on July 10, 2010 at 10:40:35 PT

BGreen
Nah, I'm not awesome. I'm just a simple, easy going person. I do measure success in my friends by who they are not what they have achieved in the eyes of society. 
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Comment #203 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 10:33:25 PT

I'm hurt for you...
But you ARE revived... and you can get out there and do some auditioning. There have to be some bands in a big city like St. Louis that can use your style and talent. You just have to find them.That is fresh. Just this morning. I'm so sorry and disappointed, too. Let the sting of that slap in the face motivate you to find something even better.Yes. You've been at it for a long, long time. No use giving up now. It's the trip and not just the destination. And you have had and still have a wonderful companion for the trip in Mrs. Green.
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Comment #202 posted by BGreen on July 10, 2010 at 10:32:02 PT

Thanks, FoM
And you're freakin' awesome.Bud
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Comment #201 posted by FoM on July 10, 2010 at 10:30:11 PT

BGreen
You are a success in my mind.
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Comment #200 posted by BGreen on July 10, 2010 at 10:23:10 PT

Thanks, Hope
There is no band to keep. It was her group. She complained that she couldn't get musicians that were serious. They didn't want to practice but expected to be paid well for doing a gig, regardless of how poorly they performed. She didn't want that. She contacted me to help her out. I gave up two weeks of my life and delivered 100%. I just have to jump into something else, hoping it might work out despite 30 years of this same crap and disappointment.I was supposed to have a practice session at this very moment and only found out she dumped me this morning. It's all very fresh and Mrs. Green and I are very hurt.Mrs. Green was crying and your words made her laugh. Thank you for that.Bud
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Comment #199 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 10:11:41 PT

Based on a new Geico ad I saw recently....
Don't make me take you to the namby pamby store and see if we can buy you some self confidence.
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Comment #198 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 10:10:27 PT

BGreen
Don't you dare be embarrassed.And don't you dare give up.
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Comment #197 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 10:08:56 PT

BGreen
Keep the band. Get some auditions. There's other jobs and other singers.Maybe you need a manager.Don't give up! You'll never get what you want by giving up.It sounds to me like Mrs. Green may have it right. A jealous diva.Don't quit. There are other people that can appreciate your style and other places to play.
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Comment #196 posted by BGreen on July 10, 2010 at 10:04:58 PT

Thanks, FoM
I was really embarrassed and ashamed to have to share this with my friends. I wanted so much to be a success.Bud
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Comment #195 posted by FoM on July 10, 2010 at 10:00:43 PT

BGreen
I am so very sorry. I really am.
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Comment #194 posted by BGreen on July 10, 2010 at 09:47:38 PT

Well, I got used and spit out again
I played my first show to rave reviews. I couldn't believe the comments I heard. My good friends were sitting in the back of the club talking to people but nobody knew they were my friends. They were sitting at a table with a couple from Ireland who kept turning around staring at me. They had all kinds of good things to say about my playing before my friends mentioned they had known me for over thirty years. Another couple from Kansas City also spoke well of me to my friends. People were coming up to me with all kinds of kudos. One musician who plays with a famous band was there and couldn't believe it was my first gig with this band.With all of that, I was told by the singer of the band that she doesn't like my style of playing, that she didn't like the tones I was using (from my $500 Line 6 Pod X3 Live for all of you guitar gear-heads out there,) that I was using "rock" tones on blues songs and that "you can't mix the styles like that" and that "many people" (of whom she would name none) were complaining to her about my playing. WTF? The people were dancing and interacting with me. One guy came up and stuffed a tip in between my strings on the headstock of my guitar. His wife was asking for guitar playing advice in between sets. I've seen the way the crowd just ignores an average or less-than-average guitarist.I am by far my worst critic. I beat myself unconscious for the tiniest errors. I'm a absolute perfectionist when it comes to my music. I was absolutely thrilled with my performance. Although Mrs. Green and I both knew I'd do an admirable job, what I achieved went beyond both of our expectations. I know I didn't do anything wrong and did everything I said I would do.Mrs. Green thinks she was jealous of the attention I was getting but that is just asinine. Every Steven Tyler needs a Joe Perry.Anyway, I tried the best I could. I'm really hurt by this. It doesn't matter in the long run because I still have my health. That's what you need to concentrate on restoring, Hope. Ultimately, that is where my joy is going to come from.Keep fighting the good fight, Hope.Bro. Bud
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Comment #193 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 09:18:52 PT

Again... as I mentioned in comment 189
There is some brilliant commentary happening on other threads here at C-News. I just haven't wanted to break the forward motion by mentioning how wonderful they are on the individual threads. Old familiar commenters and some bright new commenters, too. Wow! Doing a wonderful job! 
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Comment #192 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 09:13:56 PT

Indeed it is, FoM.
I plan on listening to it or one of the full versions on YouTube everyday that I can.This is great video, too. Joss Stone and Melissa Ethridge singing in tribute to Janis Joplin.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef-f-l2Pbn8&feature=relatedNot many people dare to cover one of Janis's songs... but ..Wow... they did it and they did it so well. Janis would have loved it, I think.
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Comment #191 posted by FoM on July 10, 2010 at 08:52:45 PT

Hope
You're very welcome. I thought it was a beautiful song and video and full of HOPE!
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Comment #190 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 08:47:34 PT

Melissa Ethridge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmRSqkGOhigThank you, FoM.
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Comment #189 posted by Hope on July 10, 2010 at 08:18:56 PT

Had Enough and BGreen
Dang! I hope all that, which sounds excruciating, is getting better. I sometimes wonder at how many of us.... all people...and animals for that matter, would be long gone a long time ago if it wasn't for antibiotics and penicillin. We've all been granted reprieves from early or earlier deaths many times, thanks to advances in medicine, and antibiotics and penecillin and stuff in particular. As I understand... the cancer killing chemotherapy I, and many others are going through, are actually super antibiotics... themselves.They need to be finding out more about the antibiotic possibilities in the cannabis plant. It's another stupidity of prohibition to not be doing that.BGreen, I'm anxious to hear how your shows are going. And me? I'm still alive!P.S. Recipe/menu note... those special french fries were first baked... not boiled.And to all the commenters... Bravo! You guys are telling 'em like it is! And eloquently, too.:0)
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Comment #188 posted by FoM on July 08, 2010 at 11:12:47 PT

Had Enough
That had to really hurt. I hope you are feeling better real soon.
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Comment #187 posted by Had Enough on July 08, 2010 at 11:03:35 PT

BGreen...Hope...
BGreen...Jam on...cool...Hope...sounds like you are doing fine...the collective thoughts and prayers are a powerful force...along with the will to survive...is an unbeatable combination...On another note...just got back from a dentist office where the term ĎRoot Canalí is heard quite often...Now the side of my head feels like I was hit with a baseball bat...(has been for about a week)... But it is supposed to improve from here on out, I feel I will be alright despite what they said about how nasty the infection was, and how they were concerned about a re-infection...they also had to punch some holes in the bottom of my tongue to help let the infected fluids drain...But...Small potatoes as compared to what some people have to go through with worse health problems.Heal up...Jam on...

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Comment #186 posted by Hope on July 07, 2010 at 15:51:57 PT

Comment 184 BGreen
Oh my gosh!I'm so happy!That's wonderful!
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Comment #185 posted by FoM on July 07, 2010 at 15:48:39 PT

BGreen
I wish you the best of luck and have a wonderful time.
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Comment #184 posted by BGreen on July 07, 2010 at 15:15:15 PT

Thanks, FoM and Hope
I have my first gig tonight with my new band. I haven't been on stage for about six years so I'm pretty excited.I've had to memorize four sets worth of music, that's three hours total, in less than two weeks. I was worried about being perfect but that just isn't going to happen. The best thing is I recorded the last show with the former guitarist and I'm better after less than two weeks than he was after a year and a half and at least 30 shows! At last, my experience trumps my age! Take that, you little whippersnappers!Hope, you are an inspiration to me. You don't even know the half of it yet, because I haven't shared everything with you, yet. I probably wouldn't have even tried to find a band if it wasn't for your struggle. I have a feeling we're both going to do great! I just have a feeling.Bro. Bud
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Comment #183 posted by Hope on July 07, 2010 at 14:36:08 PT

Paint with light  :0)
It was good. And the leftovers were fun, too. 
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Comment #182 posted by Paint with light on July 06, 2010 at 20:32:36 PT

Food description
Hope, thanks to your food description, I now have to go get a paper towel and wipe the drool off my keyboard.Stay strong.
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Comment #181 posted by FoM on July 05, 2010 at 09:56:10 PT

Hope
I am so glad you had a good time yesterday!
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Comment #180 posted by Hope on July 05, 2010 at 09:11:59 PT

Just got to tell you what a cool party 
everyone put together.Fresh caught and filleted and perfectly deep fried channel catfish. My sister's unbelievable good potato salad. Corn on the cob. A big pot of spiced melted cheese sauce for nachos and dipping and all. Dips and chips and toppings of all kinds. A big pot of pinto beans along side a big pot of lovingly homemade chili. (Fritos and chili!)Grilled Bratwurst and buns and fixings. Strawberry cake. Banana Pudding. Patti LaBelle's famous recipe for macaroni and cheese... whoo hoo!. Special French Fries. (Giant baking potatoes scrubbed and boiled, sliced steak style, then quickly deep fried.) Ice cream and toppings.Fireworks! Children! Babies! Old people! Middle aged people! Young people! Sick people (me). Happy sick people, I might add.It was wonderful.And no holiday trips to the emergency room as can sometimes happen!And everyone else did all the cooking and clean up!Exhausted... but happy.
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Comment #179 posted by Hope on July 05, 2010 at 08:08:08 PT

Had a wonderful fourth of July!
Mom even put a big vanilla wafer number four on her famous banana pudding. That was new!Lol!I'm not sure if that means she getting too old to make banana pudding or if she's just got to heed new creative urges.Everyone looked at it for a minute. What? Then... "Fourth" of July! ... and we ate it all up. It was super delicious as usual.I'd called our get together off because of the germs and being afraid I'd be too sick. I'm so glad we called it back on. It was great. I survived... so far.I hope everyone else had a good day!
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Comment #178 posted by FoM on July 02, 2010 at 07:45:03 PT

Hope
I want this Independence Day to be a day that when next year comes you will be totally free. Have a wonderful weekend. 
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Comment #177 posted by Hope on July 02, 2010 at 07:32:21 PT

Made it through the night!
I enjoyed staying up and reading last night and not having to worry about getting off to an appointment. I stayed up until I was very sleepy... then went to bed and slept well.I'm so thankful.I feel kind of strange... but not horrible sick... like with the Levaquin antibiotic. It's not as bad as that. Yet, anyway. And I pray it doesn't get that bad. This is so amazing. I thought it all might kill me right away since I seem to be so sensitive to some pharmaceuticals and was so scared.... although the worst days may be yet to come. But it's been tolerable. And of course...if I can't tolerate the chemicals... I can't get the treatments to kill the cancer. I want those chemicals! I want very much to tolerate them.Guests, some overnight are coming for the Fourth. I'm planning on supervising this one from the sidelines. 
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Comment #176 posted by FoM on July 02, 2010 at 04:24:39 PT

Hope
I am so glad you are going to get a break. Rest up and take care. You know you are loved.
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Comment #175 posted by FoM on July 02, 2010 at 04:23:38 PT

BGreen
I wish you the best of luck. I look forward to hearing how it all goes for you. 
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Comment #174 posted by Hope on July 01, 2010 at 23:14:45 PT

Thank you, BGreen. I know you are caring.
And I so hope this career move goes well for you and Mrs. Green!
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Comment #173 posted by BGreen on July 01, 2010 at 22:56:23 PT

Hi, Hope!
I haven't posted in a few days but I've checked in daily to see how you are doing. I can guarantee you that there's not an hour that goes by that I haven't thought about you and wonder how you're doing and say a prayer for your healing. I wouldn't doubt it if I also do that in my sleep, but I can't be sure because I'm usually sleeping at the time.I will be a little scarce for a short time because of something really huge going on in my music career. I'm playing at a pretty major venue in a couple of weeks and I'm pretty much locked in the woodshed at this moment. I've been burned so many times but I always have to chase my dreams and keep pushin' on. I hope this time it's for real. At least I'm closer than I have been in years.You continue to take care of yourself and keep up with your great outlook. You are going to beat this cancer like a dirty rug. You are going to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee as you kick the cancer's a$$ like Mohammad Ali. We're going to stop the cancer in it's tracks just like rush hour traffic in Dallas.I love you, Ms. Hope!Bud
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Comment #172 posted by Hope on July 01, 2010 at 22:14:21 PT

Sorry I didn't get back here sooner.
I'm up late tonight. No appointments to go to tomorrow!Yay!And besides that... I've got a couple more bottles of water to drink to meet my quota for the day!
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Comment #171 posted by Hope on July 01, 2010 at 22:12:03 PT

woof that down like a shot of whiskey
The nurse that administered it said she liked to call it a "Strawberry Margarita". That's cool, too. Actually considerably less icky than any kind of blood... even figurative blood. Lol! I have a little trouble with and blood transfusion from a dragon... but hey... if it works and I live through it!When I thought of the dragon's blood, I was thinking of my eleven year old grandson who lost his maternal grandfather to cancer about a year ago. When he overheard his parents talking and learned that I had breast cancer, he said, "Can't Gammi just take a walk?" He'd seen the commercials on TV for Walk for the Cure. Bless his heart. He's eleven. He love's dragon stuff. He's sweet and I love him. 
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Comment #170 posted by Hope on July 01, 2010 at 22:03:44 PT

Paint with light
"... so I could better empathize with you and other friends who will eventually have to tread the same path of unknowns."Thank you, Paint with light. That's very sweet.
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Comment #169 posted by FoM on July 01, 2010 at 07:38:03 PT

Had Enough
Hope had to go back to the hospital today for a shot which she must get after each Chemo treatment. She should be back this afternoon and get a break from all the running for a little while. I didn't want you to worry.
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Comment #168 posted by Had Enough on July 01, 2010 at 07:17:34 PT

"Stand back... this lady want's out of here!"
Itís good to see that you are taking this ordeal with great stride. I believe that Ďthe will to surviveí is a major part of overcoming this thing. Which you have plenty of.Dragons Blood...Hhmmm...Dragons Blood...I would be willing to wager...That they could put that stuff in a shot glass and you could woof that down like a shot of whiskey. Of course they wouldnít do that because you would spit it right in the eye of that creepy Grimm Reaper...Hang in there; many collective thoughts and prayers are on your side."Stand back... this lady want's out of here!"...well said!!!
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Comment #167 posted by Paint with light on June 30, 2010 at 23:29:10 PT

Hope
You seem to be adjusting well to what life has dealt you.I admire your strength and sense of humor through it all.I have been worried a little the past few weeks that I might be joining you in the battle.About a month ago my skin doctor told me that I needed to have two of my many moles removed as soon as possible. The results came back today and everything checked out normal.I could have called and got my results last Friday but I wanted to experience the "not knowing" feeling a little longer, so I could better empathize with you and other friends who will eventually have to tread the same path of unknowns.So I don't pretend to understand all the emotions you must be feeling. I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts.You have always been an inspiration in the cannabis battle and now you are an inspiration in battling for life in a different way.Legal like chemo.
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Comment #166 posted by FoM on June 30, 2010 at 16:51:12 PT

Hope
You are doing great. I am so happy for you. You will beat it. I know you will.
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Comment #165 posted by Hope on June 30, 2010 at 16:42:53 PT

I just watched a movie about a Doctor 
that got cancer and how it changed him and his attitude.It was a pretty good movie.My husband laughed at me about how fast I was walking when we were leaving the chemo department. He said he hadn't seen me walk that fast through this whole thing. I told him, "I want out of here!"Two ladies, one a patient were getting on the elevator... they stepped aside and laughed and said, "Stand back... this lady want's out of here!" I made my first fellow chemo patient acquaintance. She was very sweet and funny. We talked on the elevator and outside. Also, I sat up on the way home and didn't try to sleep through it all, like I usually do.I'm very happy that something is being done to try and kill the cancer. I hope it works. I've got people to love and be loved by and I've got bad laws I want to see changed. I'd like to be around for awhile longer to see and do all that. I hope I am.
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Comment #164 posted by FoM on June 30, 2010 at 15:52:43 PT

Hope
I am so happy for you. Like I say. Kill that thing.
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Comment #163 posted by Hope on June 30, 2010 at 15:22:36 PT

MMMMM.... Dragon's Blood! Feels good!
Did it! Finally. Got my first chemo done. Now let's hope it works!So far, so good.

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Comment #162 posted by FoM on June 28, 2010 at 18:11:16 PT

Hope
You have a good additude. One day at a time. That's all anyone can do when life takes hard turns.
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Comment #161 posted by Hope on June 28, 2010 at 17:23:53 PT

I guess if insurance would pay for it
a person could go and stay in one of those cancer hospitals where they do all your treatment while you stay there.It's kind of like in the old days when I had to drive to work over there, only five days a week, day in and day out. I don't want to have to stay in the hospital... and I'm not sure I could even if I wanted to. This is going to take a long long time.I have friends over there I could stay with some. Or maybe even a hotel when the puking starts. But it's really not so bad. My husband and I are used to long commutes to work. I'm trying to look at it kind of like it's just a commute.
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Comment #160 posted by FoM on June 28, 2010 at 14:52:46 PT

Hope
That's a lot of traveling. 
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Comment #159 posted by Hope on June 28, 2010 at 14:45:27 PT

Yup.
And the next, and the next, and the next... for quite a long time, it looks like.
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Comment #158 posted by FoM on June 28, 2010 at 14:29:48 PT

Hope
Everthing has to be right on before you start treatment I believe too. Glad your home. Do you go tomorrow too?
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Comment #157 posted by Hope on June 28, 2010 at 14:25:39 PT

It wasn't an infection...
But still a problem. Lymph fluid buildup. Working on it. May still get to start chemotherapy this week. May not.I guess this is normal having these delays, roadblocks, and impediments. But they want everything to be as right as possible... and if I've got some sort of problem before chemotherapy, with the drop in white blood cells... or red blood cells...that happens with chemotherapy could cause the problem, whatever it might be, to mega magnify.Don't want to mega magnify any problems, please.:0)
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Comment #156 posted by Hope on June 25, 2010 at 08:17:06 PT

Had Enough and Sensemilla Jones
Had Enough. Thank you for that story. Stories of great trouble and bravery and survival in the face of it are encouraging when I'm feeling a bit spooked. Just so happens that just yesterday at the oncologist's my husband had been reading some albums there that were collections of things chemotherapy patients, that had received treatment there, had written about their experiences. They're large pink photo albums and instead of pictures, handwritten stories written by patients are where the pictures would normally be.There were many albums and lots of experiences. He read quite a bit over several days and finally, looked at me and said, "I just noticed something. Apparently atheists don't ever take chemo either... just like there are "No atheists in foxholes".Sensemilla Jones. Huzza! Huzza! :0)
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Comment #155 posted by Sinsemilla Jones on June 25, 2010 at 00:26:33 PT

Hope #145
Boo!!!
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Comment #154 posted by Sinsemilla Jones on June 25, 2010 at 00:22:40 PT

Hope #102 & #135!
Yea!!!
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Comment #153 posted by Had Enough on June 24, 2010 at 20:00:55 PT

Correction Factor

I stated that my fathersí boat was in the South Pacific...That boat was part of the Pacific Fleet...They escorted Carriers and Destroyers...and also went out on patrol...all over the entire Pacific Ocean. After the war they went to Europe. Italy, Greece, all around that area.He told me he had sailed around the world about 7 times...***United States Pacific Fleethttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Pacific_Fleet

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Comment #152 posted by Had Enough on June 24, 2010 at 19:07:54 PT

Hope
Rest up...Heal up...Recharge the batteries...then back to...Full speed ahead...***Something my dear departed father shared with me.He was in the Navy during WWII...Was on a diesel-electric submarine in the South Pacific.I was told they ran underwater during the day, and ran on the surface at night. While on the surface they ran the boat on the diesel motors to recharge the batteries so they could run on the electric motors during the day. To run on the diesel motors during the day, they would have to get air to the motors through the snorkel, and that meant they had to be too close to the surface to avoid being spotted.The reason for this was during the daylight hours they would be spotted by the Japanese pilots, and they would drop bombs, depth charges, and put torpedoes in the water to kill them. So...being on or close to the surface during daylight hours was the same as saying...Hey!!! here we are...come and get us.While on the surface at night, they would also open the hatches to air out the boat...(those subs were also refereed to as sewer pipes for those in know of their operations, for obvious reasons) and all the lights were turned off where they couldnít be seen through the hatches. All other lights below were red as to help with their eyes to help adjust with being able to see at night.Another thing...He told me that there is no such thing as a true atheist...He said the ones that were the loudest about saying there is no such thing as God...Were the first ones on their knees peeing in their skivvies asking God to stop those bombs and depth charges from dropping on the hull of the boat...Can you just imagine being in a steel tube under water while bombs were going off all around it?...Those were brave men...But at any rate I thought that I would share that with you...so that you can get your batteries charged...and get back to the green war we are fighting in this day and age...Peace and rest up...

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Comment #151 posted by FoM on June 24, 2010 at 16:05:48 PT

Hope
That's a good thing what the Equestrian Center is doing. 
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Comment #150 posted by Hope on June 24, 2010 at 15:17:52 PT

Got to check some news before I nap...
Check out the story about Equine Drug War Victims over at Pete's.http://www.drugwarrant.com/
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Comment #149 posted by Hope on June 24, 2010 at 15:15:30 PT

Drinking water
as we speak. Got my icepack hitched under my arm.Doing right.
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Comment #148 posted by FoM on June 24, 2010 at 15:10:42 PT

Hope
They caught it early and rest is the best thing right now. Try to drink a good deal of water.
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Comment #147 posted by Hope on June 24, 2010 at 15:06:15 PT

I hope it's not serious, either.
It doesn't increase the feel good quotient, I know that. I was wondering why I was feeling so much worse. I was hoping I'd be thrilled this afternoon about how much easier it was than I thought it would be. Well it probably will be anyway. They say it's worse a few days after the chemo infusion.Think I'll go lay down for a while.I'm trusting it's all for the best. 
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Comment #146 posted by FoM on June 24, 2010 at 14:56:39 PT

Hope
I'm so sorry. I know you want to keep busy but you really need to rest. I'm glad they caught the infection. Let's hope it isn't a serious one.
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Comment #145 posted by Hope on June 24, 2010 at 14:52:44 PT

They canceled my ride and sent me home
with with a script for some antibiotics.Where they took the lymph nodes, I think, big cut kind of under my arm, showing a little pink and quite a bit of swelling today. I told them, oddly enough, I had more pain than when it was first done. It seems to be trying to get a bit infected. Not raging yet... but chemo would have made it turn raging... and have to reopened, and packed and drained.I'm glad they caught it.She said just because I can move freely and well... doesn't mean I should. Worst of all, it might be a hospital staph infection... most likely I pulled something loose a bit from doing too much too soon.They'll try to get me in the chemo lineup again next week.:0(Ow, anyway.
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Comment #144 posted by FoM on June 24, 2010 at 05:23:17 PT

Hope
Our prayers and thoughts are with you today. Let us know how it went when you get home.
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Comment #143 posted by Hope on June 24, 2010 at 04:43:09 PT

Afterburner
I'm so glad everyone was ok... especially you!
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Comment #142 posted by Hope on June 24, 2010 at 04:36:22 PT

You guys do love me...
I have my little ways of telling.I love you, too.Thanks so much for caring.Onward through the fog!:0)
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Comment #141 posted by afterburner on June 24, 2010 at 00:15:30 PT

FoM
No, I didn't feel the 'quake, but everyone was talking about it. I was glad to see the house still standing when I got home from work. lol! 
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Comment #140 posted by afterburner on June 24, 2010 at 00:12:30 PT

Hope
Love ... love .. lOve ... loVe ... lovE ...LOVE
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Comment #139 posted by Paint with light on June 23, 2010 at 23:13:11 PT

virtual love hug
I am sending you a virtual good morning southern love hug.I hope today be a good day.
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Comment #138 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 18:53:03 PT

That is so sweet and a compliment from
someone who does love me enough to know me, and know me well enough to know that I would absolutely love what you said."Your glitter...outshines many pieces of gold."Thank you. That is so sweet. One of my treasures to carry with me on my trek to the caverns of the healing Dragon's Blood.
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Comment #137 posted by Had Enough on June 23, 2010 at 17:42:23 PT

Hope...You are truly loved...
and you have earned that through your impeccable character, something earned, not bought. Your glitter...outshines many pieces of gold.Iím devastated, saddened, and disrupted to hear about your illness.But you know what!!! You are tough and your spirit is way beyond most people. You can, and will overcome this.A girl (55yrs young) I know just went through a similar ordeal. They removed the cancer, and she did not have to go through the chemo thing. She has been cancer free for over a year now. Too many sufferers in this world...Iím really at a loss for words to help comfort you...All the yakking I can do...maybe it will help...I just know I really care for you, and our little place here sure is a little sanity in a big sea of stormy injustice. And being here, with you and the others brings me more than a little bit comfort and strength, knowing Iím not alone with my thoughts. Peace to you Sister Hope, and spit right in that Grim Reapers eye.Special note to the Grim Reaper: You havenít a clue what you are dealing with here, our sister is one of the toughest among us, you can stand her at the Ďgates of hellí, and she wonít back down...So you are going to be in for a huge fight before you take her from us, and that will take quite some time...you will also be dealing with the collective thoughts and prayer from all of us here, and then some. So I hope you can see...She has more going for herself than what you usually come across. Eventually you will visit all of mortal man...But in this case you might have lost your way, and showed up way too early...So you might as well forget your lunch, pack your bags, and go strait back to where you came from!!!************To all...Our time here on earth is just a small speck in the grand spectrum of Ďall of timeí, as we are just passing through this place. Although some see clearer, and farther than others, it is still our duty, for each and every one of us to do no harm to others, and to be good stewards of the land we live on, as we are passing through...Which I think most of mankind has failed miserably at that. But donít let others that do wrong, sway you into following their evil ways, whether it be for money, power, personal gain...etc... Forces are in motion that will correct that...For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and vice versa...Itís natureís way...Nature's Way by Spirithttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsTK2LHZKPQ&feature=fvwLyricshttp://www.lyricsdownload.com/spirit-nature-s-way-lyrics.html***Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers with George Harrison and Ringo Starr- I Won't Back Down http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA

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Comment #136 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 16:49:05 PT

Hope
Yippie! I'd do a cartwheel but I'd probably slip and fall and break a leg! LOL!
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Comment #135 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 16:45:44 PT

Latest biopsy
Latest tumor.Benign.:0)
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Comment #134 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 12:04:55 PT

Afterburner
Did you feel the earthquake?
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Comment #133 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 10:55:50 PT

Hope
I agree with you.Rod Stewart ~ Smilehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJWA0fUM7-4
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Comment #132 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 10:47:28 PT

Actually... I'm a trained smilist.
Self taught, but trained, none the less.If I was left to my natural state, I'd be more of a frownist... like Kerlikowske.Don't think it's "Fake" either. It's real. Smiling... even when you don't feel like it, is good for you. I know.
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Comment #131 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 10:15:36 PT

Hope
I'm glad you liked it. I know it must be hard to smile. 
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Comment #130 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 10:13:23 PT

Comment 126
How sweet!That Turkish "Puppy love" video is cool, too. 
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Comment #129 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 10:06:50 PT

herbdoc215
I'm with you!
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Comment #128 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 09:52:44 PT

 :0)
I love you, Steve. Life is hard... but we can do it.
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Comment #127 posted by herbdoc215 on June 23, 2010 at 09:47:30 PT

Hope, Your loved now like never before...
We are piping in love to you at this very minute, I'm sure you can't see it but it's there and clinging to everything...you'll just have to take my word on it? Your strength is helping me through a problem now and I want to thank you for showing me the way? Thanks and love, Steve Tuck
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Comment #126 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 09:41:48 PT

Hope
Here's a picture of Moose watching the video. I hope this makes you smile. It did us. Don't mind my cluttered desk. I know why it's all there!http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx290/MarthaGier/dogsout.jpg
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Comment #125 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 09:10:04 PT

Hope
This might make you smile. A young man from Turkey just got his first rottie puppy and put this short video to music. Last night when I played it Moose almost had his nose on my computer screen watching it and listening to the music. When it was over Moose acted like where did the puppy go! LOL!http://www.vimeo.com/12389991
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Comment #124 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 08:59:18 PT

Hope
Will do! No matter if you're up or down or in between you are loved. 
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Comment #123 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 08:48:21 PT

Yes, I do know it. And thank you.
I should have said, "Just KEEP loving me fiercely.":0)
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Comment #122 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 08:42:41 PT

Hope
You know I love you. We have been best friends for years now. 
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Comment #121 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 08:28:14 PT

Just love me... fiercely. 
I need the power of Love.
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Comment #120 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 08:11:46 PT

Hope
You must do what you must do. This is your journey and one thing I have learned in life is we all march to the beat of a different drummer. What I would need isn't what someone else might need. I know you have a good focus and true grit to boot.
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Comment #119 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 08:02:19 PT

weird 
Those are slighlty different posts...but one of them needs to go. Don't know how that happened. Thought I posted that... came back to computer and there it was... so I added something or removed something and posted it anyway. Strange. I thought I'd posted it... but there it was.sigh. Get rid of one of them... or both!:0)Sorry.
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Comment #118 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 07:52:08 PT

I've overheard lectures being given
to other people and their relatives about pain medicines.I'll get through it. I woke up in pain this morning. And I can't take stuff instantly in the morning. I have to take my thryroid first on an empty stomach... and wait twenty minutes before I can take anything else.I'll be ok. Don't worry. It's worse, or course, early in the morning or late at night. And besides, in the morning, my whole body is screaming at me... and it just takes a while to get over it all. I had to have help getting dressed today. I should have asked for help sooner. But I'm good to go now. Braced up and ready to go.Don't get me to feeling sorry for myself. You don't want to be around when that happens. I don't either. I have "range"... like a diva at the Metropolitan. I didn't know I could make such noises of offense and outrage, from high to low... from squeak to roar.Emotions are worse in the morning, too.I'd rather not talk about medicine... other than the outrage of people being denied help. I'd rather not talk about procedures... until I've accomplished them and had a good outcome.It doesn't help me to get angry or afraid. Concerning cannabis, I don't want people risking punishment for me and Tylenol, believe it or not, is really very helpful to me, except for the unavoidable liver damage. That sucks. Just cause someone hates addicts. Advil helps even more so... but there are bleeding issues with Advil. I'm fine. Really. I'm furious that they put Tylenol in the codeine type drugs in this country... so they can kill the people that might take too much of the codeine. That's just freaky sick.I don't want to think too much about procedures until I'm out the other side of it.I'll tell you about the chemo, when I've done it.Wish me brave!
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Comment #116 posted by FoM on June 23, 2010 at 07:16:09 PT

Hope
Are you taking your pain meds and still have a lot of pain? If so maybe ask the doctor for Oxycontin instead of what she gave you. You shouldn't need to deal with pain when there is powerful medicine to help you.
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Comment #115 posted by Hope on June 23, 2010 at 07:08:38 PT

Afterburner
Maybe you better think beyond agreement. Agreement with me won't amount to much. I'm just going where I'm led. I don't have a clue. I'm miserable with pain this morning. Not from the cancer... from the poking and prodding and the attacking of the cancer. It's all in an uproar. There is one agreement prayer that comes to mind. That I should never feel He's not with me through any of this. I've felt "forsaken" when I was very sick before. I don't want to feel forsaken, please, whether I am or not. I want to be assured and know he's very present with me constantly.Thank you, my dear friend and beloved fellow conspirator in our long time conspiracy for goodness and peace.
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Comment #114 posted by afterburner on June 23, 2010 at 04:21:02 PT

Hope
Keep those positive visualizations going. My prayers of support and agreement are with you.Long live compassion. Bombard the prohibitionists & cancer with love, sweet love!
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Comment #113 posted by FoM on June 22, 2010 at 19:53:35 PT

Hope
You are doing good. That's the Spirit! 
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Comment #112 posted by Hope on June 22, 2010 at 19:41:50 PT

Huzza!
Huzza!
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Comment #111 posted by Hope on June 22, 2010 at 19:41:15 PT

Mainlining
I'm going to mainline Dragon's Blood.
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Comment #110 posted by Hope on June 22, 2010 at 19:40:05 PT

Cut my hair this evening.
It's short and curly for the moment.Got a dorky looking wig. Aaargh. It was the least dorky, it seemed like, in the wig place. But at home, it's extremely dorky.Oh well.
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Comment #109 posted by Hope on June 22, 2010 at 19:34:17 PT

Some of this Intergalactic equipment being used
in this fight against cancer is amazing to even behold.

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Comment #108 posted by Hope on June 22, 2010 at 19:31:42 PT

So many people
are devoted to trying to help people that find themselves in the situation I find myself in. It's amazing. I'm glad and very thankful for them. So many people are trying to help me. Are helping me. Even the boobie traps are helping me.It's Star Wars... with boobie traps. By the way. I don't like it when something in my Star Wars, Battlestar Galactic scenario appears to be stapled together.
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Comment #107 posted by Hope on June 22, 2010 at 16:55:23 PT

For the prohibitionist
that might say I'm hiding from reality. Pooh! I know exactly what reality is. Today was a real boobie-trap kind of day.:0)Cancer humor.

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Comment #106 posted by FoM on June 22, 2010 at 16:20:04 PT

Hope
Thank you. You have such a way with words. Thursday's the day right? You sound ready. That is very good.
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Comment #105 posted by Hope on June 22, 2010 at 15:27:46 PT

Just had still another biopsy...
and another cat scan and another mammogram. More needles, hooks, IV's and giant machines squeezing and photographing me every which way they can. It's to save my life, though. I know.The first chemo they're doing is nicknamed "Red Devil". I'm changing it's nick name though... for my sake and my grandchildren's. They'll appreciate my new nick name for it. Dragon's Blood.It will be amazing. It will make me super human... as well as save my life. I'm not going to see it as poison. I'm going to welcome it into my veins. Dragon's Blood! Dragon's Blood, IVed into my veins somewhere in the deep dark caverns of the megalithoic city of secret and amazing things deep in the bowels of Baylor University Medical Center. Amazing life saving stuff. It might burn or hurt sure. It might make me feel bad or look different for awhile. It's Dragon's Blood! For Heaven's sake! Hugely magical, rare, powerful, healing Dragon's Blood. I better take my sword and shield and helmet. I might need them! :0) Heck. I'm going to LIKE it! I'm determined to like it. To love it! I may even get addicted to the stuff.I need a light up led hero suit of some kind to wear. Maybe black leather with a built in light show. Maybe with a secret pocket to stow my barf bag. They said to dress comfortably and casually. Casual? I need to dress for an earth shaking human endeavor of super heroics. :0)Yep. 
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Comment #104 posted by Hope on June 21, 2010 at 10:44:35 PT

:0)
Yes. I know.I am so grateful.Sometimes I just have to say, "Oh well." Sometimes I can rejoice. Naturally I really appreciate the rejoicing times.
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Comment #103 posted by FoM on June 21, 2010 at 10:06:22 PT

Hope
You know I am. I really enjoyed our talk this morning. 
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Comment #102 posted by Hope on June 21, 2010 at 09:50:26 PT

Doctor called this morning...
Lymph nodes are clear!Whoo hoo!Big time!Of course this means, I'm still stage three and not stage four. Which is very, very good.Rejoice with me!
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Comment #101 posted by Hope on June 20, 2010 at 09:31:37 PT

Paint with light
Thank you.
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Comment #100 posted by FoM on June 19, 2010 at 12:07:09 PT

Hope
That's the way I see it too.
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Comment #99 posted by Hope on June 19, 2010 at 11:26:41 PT

Things that don't matter
Straightening up the bedroom a visiting offspring left in a mess. A glass of water left on the wood of the nightstand. Aaargh. A general mess. I was momentarily "Disappointed" in them. I know I taught them better than that.Then I thought. They came to see me. They love me. A nightstand just does not matter.
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Comment #98 posted by Hope on June 19, 2010 at 10:52:50 PT

Prohibitionists
What I will allow myself to wish for them is that they would come to their senses and be deeply, deeply ashamed and do everything they possibly can to end cannabis prohibition. Everything.I do wish that... with all my heart.That would not be harm to them. That would be a really, really good thing for them... and everyone around them.I wish it... and I pray it... with all my being.
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Comment #97 posted by FoM on June 19, 2010 at 09:59:19 PT

Hope
It's great to see you. I am so glad you were able to get a good nights sleep.
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Comment #96 posted by Hope on June 19, 2010 at 09:52:22 PT

  :0)
I had a good night's sleep last night. It was wonderful!A day at home today. It's wonderful.Baylor University Medical Center is a huge complex. It's trying my country girl ways. It's a gigantic maze and everyone, seemingly, wants "a piece of me". But everyone is mostly kind and is making me feel that the huge maze is peopled with caring, good, knowledgeable people.I love you all, more than you know.As long as I can I'll be speaking out against what is being done to people, as individuals and as a nation, in the name of the detestable cannabis prohibition that is being inflicted on everyone. It was no accident that I chose this thread to tell you about my diagnosis. Wait? Wait, Governor Christie?Two weeks ago I was diagnosed, virtually out of the blue with cancer. I start the "Red Devil" chemo next week.Wait?There is a special calmness and soothing effect in cannabis for some people. It is not a dangerous drug. I would really like to have some calmness and soothing right now. Lots of people would. Cannabis could and likely would help. It's not dangerous. It's not poison. Yet all you busybodies and authoritarians say "No". You say "No". I absolutely cannot have this little herb that could help me feel better. You mock and say "Feel better? But does it cure? It's not real medicine. You just want to get high."High? Sounds good.... from this very low place. Feel better? Oh my God... what a wonderful thing.And Texas. My beloved Texas. You are so cruel.Waiting? There absolutely must be dispensaries and stores and ready providers. Two weeks ago I didn't know this was going to happen. Could I have found seed and set up equipment and got a usable plant by now... in two weeks? Obviously not.I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. Not even the most virulent prohibitionists... the killers. But what a wonderful thing it would be to have a miracle of epiphanies among the powerful prohibitionists and they would immediately set themselves to work to made good cannabis easily available to people.
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Comment #95 posted by FoM on June 18, 2010 at 15:31:55 PT

Paint with light
Thank you. I am really upset about Hope. She is like a sister to me. No one knows how she has helped me keep going when I just wanted to quit. We have talked on the phone and shared difficult moments and happy moments. We share pictures and I do hope we get to see each other someday so I can give her a great big hug.
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Comment #94 posted by Paint with light on June 18, 2010 at 15:14:25 PT

absence
Even one day without a comment from hope seems so different.She has been a constant and positive voice in our movement and I am sure she isn't through speaking her wonderful mind.I have such a bad habit of forgetting about the threads that drop off the main board.But there is no way I can forget about hope.My thoughts go out to her and her family.I've got your family on that thought list also.
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Comment #93 posted by FoM on June 18, 2010 at 14:48:49 PT

Paint with light
This morning Hope sent me a short e-mail. She had a rough night. She said they were leaving to go to Baylor in Dallas again for an MRI and Chemo Class. She has to go get fitted for a wig and I'm not sure if they were doing the new biopsy today or not. 
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Comment #92 posted by Paint with light on June 18, 2010 at 14:34:17 PT

FoM and Hope
Thanks.I now have this thread bookmarked.And to Hope......Your strength of will is going to help you to adjust to the changes you are going to have to go through.You will learn things that will help with the new daily routines.One thing you can be thankful for.Be glad you are not Amish.That would be a long way to go each day in a buggy.Keep your spirits up.You are appreciated very much.Legal like alcohol.......or chemo.
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Comment #91 posted by FoM on June 17, 2010 at 18:45:32 PT

An Update On Hope
Hope just called. They are on their way home from the hospital. I asked her how implanting the Port went and she said it was really bad. She sounded like she was in a lot of pain. I asked her how far until she is home and she said about 100 miles. She has to go back tomorrow morning for another biopsy of the newly found tumor. I am sorry but I get really angry when someone we all love has to go thru driving this distance. Why don't they admit a person for the night so they don't have to drive over 100 miles one way and soon it will be everyday when the Chemo starts? I told her I would let you all know and she thanked me. Please remember her in your prayers.
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Comment #90 posted by FoM on June 17, 2010 at 09:02:29 PT

Afterburner
I like that hat. Hope is having surgery today to put the Port in. It's a long trip to the hospital so she might not see your post until tonight. 
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Comment #89 posted by afterburner on June 17, 2010 at 07:52:49 PT

Hope #80
Interesting that you plan a wig or hat. IN THE BOOK, God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life's Little Detours, the author, journalist & column writer, Regina Brett, speaks of her own fight with cancer. In Lesson 1 she speaks of a Chemo Hat, with the slogan "Life Is Good," she received from a positive friend. Here is an example of one such hat: 
Life is good - Women's Tattered Bucket
http://tinyurl.com/2cdhan7Many cancer & chemo patients passed a Chemo Hat to each other, inspired by the message, "Life Is Good." 
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Comment #88 posted by FoM on June 16, 2010 at 13:39:10 PT

Hope
I'm sorry I didn't get back with you before now. The puppy had a Vet appointment for her next shot. I am happy to see your positive additude. I wish you all the very best tomorrow.
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Comment #87 posted by Hope on June 16, 2010 at 11:28:50 PT

But...
I might have a big fat ridiculously ugly head. I might wish I had something to cover it with. So I'll be ready. I envision do rags. Or is it dew rags? I envision something with sequins or rhinestones. Maybe ....I'm really liking the idea of one of those old lady tobaggons with the big sequins.
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Comment #86 posted by FoM on June 16, 2010 at 09:52:57 PT

Hope
My niece has 2 wigs but decided not to use them. She said after she shaved her hair off that her bald head was a badge of an honorable fight and she felt no shame. Her hair has grown back now.
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Comment #85 posted by FoM on June 16, 2010 at 09:49:16 PT

Hope
That was total anxiety. Now you are ready to fight. Like what women said on that breast cancer forum I sent you. Once a woman knows the plan it becomes easier to deal with.
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Comment #84 posted by Hope on June 16, 2010 at 09:21:01 PT

Fight
People keep saying stuff about fight and fighting.I kept thinking. How? Of course, I'm still thinking about it. I intend to "fight" back against it, and it is an insidious, powerful thing, the best way offered to me, in my estimation, at the moment. I'm going to do it. I have a fight. First I got a motto... that was fairly easy. "That wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be."Now the hair thing. How to handle that. Viola. A plan!One thing at a time.I'm so thankful that cold chill thing is apparently mostly in the past. Brrr. That was such a black, dark feeling. Brrr... again.
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Comment #83 posted by FoM on June 16, 2010 at 08:31:34 PT

Hope
You have a plan and that is excellent. 
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Comment #82 posted by Hope on June 16, 2010 at 07:32:31 PT

The braid....
My granddaughter can make it into a hairpiece or use it for extensions when some hair grows back... or I can just chunk it after I mourn over it a bit.I'm looking forward to some fancy hair extensions... like the movie stars... after some of my hair grows back so I won't have to wait three years or more for long hair again. And darn it... I'll have to fight off the paparazzi then!Just remembered one time a few years ago when I was paying out at a restaurant, the cashier, said, "You're Crystal Gayle. Aren't you?" I laughed and told her no. She didn't believe me though. Lol!Oh well.What an adventure this is. (I don't recommend it to anyone, though. For sure.)I hoped I, nor any of my loved ones, would ever need medical marijuana than already do. I have a dear friend that is paralyzed from the waist down and cannabis eases her spasms and misery if she can use it. I wish it was legal. But I wished that for everyone way before it occurred to me that I might be one that would have serious need of the benefit from cannabis use.It's incredibly cruel that it's not legal."Love one another".
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Comment #81 posted by FoM on June 16, 2010 at 04:51:57 PT

Hope
You're welcome. That's what my niece did too. 
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Comment #80 posted by Hope on June 15, 2010 at 20:28:46 PT

I'm so glad your niece is responding to treatment.
And that you would literally give me your hair. That's so sweet, Martha. So kind and sweet. I know you have marvelous, beautiful long hair. Not bushy! Thank you. But I'm going to as little trouble as possible. I've decided tonight what I'm going to do.I'm going to get some sort of wig... without taking my friends hair.... thank you, though. Such a sweet gesture. I'm going to have it ready and some hats and scarves or wraps. I'm going to braid my hair and cut it off quite short. When the first hunk of hair comes out, I'm having my head shaved immediately and going into the wig and hats or pretend I'm an alien. :0) I know I can't stand the stress of it falling out. So I'm going to jump on it. That's how I'm planning my strategy for this set of the fight. My sister-in-law just gave me the idea this evening.
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Comment #79 posted by FoM on June 15, 2010 at 18:43:55 PT

Hope
I'm so happy for you. You will beat this thing. I just got a call from my sister and my niece is responding to the tons of antibiotics they are pumping into her. It's a miracle for you and a miracle for my sweet niece Kimmy. I also have long hair. I will cut my hair for you to have a wig made if you want my hair if that can be done. Thank you for wishing us a happy anniversary. We are all still here and that is the best gift of all. Life is complicated and precious. You and my niece have been heavy on my mind all day. I love you lady.
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Comment #78 posted by Hope on June 15, 2010 at 18:23:42 PT

Oh no!
I'm so sorry to hear that your other niece is ill, too. That's awful. Yes. They are both in my prayers! So many people are sick with so many awful things. Maybe I'm just noticing it more, but it seems that way. Hanging around the cancer hospitals and clinics makes that very apparent.Many, if not most of the people that read and post here are very familiar with cancer and have fought it and won and have fought it and lost precious loved ones to it, too. I know some of you have lost young children and grown children to it. There are no words for how horrible that is.Some good news though! Thirty seven years of marriage! That is great. Congratulations FoM and Stick. I'm so happy for your many good years together and I pray there will be many, many more. I'm sorry I didn't remember it. I don't even remember my own, usually. But I'm happy for you guys, and again, congratulations.My outlook on the cancer is good. The oncologist said it's stage 3A. It's stage three because it's so large and there's more than one. A, because it's not obvious in the lymph nodes. There will be a biopsy to make sure how unaffected they are or not. She says, while there's nothing good about cancer... that three a is really good... compared to what it could be. Really good as far as outlook at surviving.They say the kind of cancer I've got, though a very aggressive kind, and one that can show up in other places, is very responsive to chemo. She said sometimes they can't even find what were very large tumors after the chemo... so they're putting a "clip" in it... so if it shrinks that much they can find where it's supposed to be when they go in after it. I will have to have chemo treatments and radiation and more surgery. They will put the chemo port in Thursday and do those other biopsy tests. More heart tests... Echos... to keep track of if the chemo damages my heart. I don't know when the big surgery will be or when the radiation starts. But the chemo will probably start early next week. She said I definitely will lose my hair. :0( My hair is rather my security blanket. I learned that last time I cut it. It's waist length and full, bushy and frizzy really, unless I straighten it... and I get lots of compliments on it. I really like my hair, even more than I thought, even though I gripe about how wild it is sometimes. But I'd rather lose it and start over than die of cancer... so... there ya go.I had a test where they injected radioactive stuff in my veins... and I didn't get sick or even feel bad noticeably from it. It didn't even bruise my hand where the IV was. So whoo hoo! on that.Thank you for your thoughts and prayers so much! It's amazing that it's, or they are, as large as it is and hasn't spread anywhere, even, apparently the nearby lymph nodes. That's so amazing and much to be thankful for.Thank you all that are praying for me, so much.

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Comment #77 posted by FoM on June 15, 2010 at 12:21:07 PT

Hope and All
Life is really strange. My niece from Austin, Texas who took my niece with terminal stage 4 lung cancer on a cruise is now in a hospital fighting for her life. I hope everyone remembers my family in their prayers. My niece got sick on the cruise. She has what they are calling Necrotizing Fasciitis. I think it is a form of the flesh eating disease. It is on her face.
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Comment #76 posted by FoM on June 15, 2010 at 09:52:08 PT

schmeff 
Thank you! Your partner should be your best friend. Stick's my best friend.
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Comment #75 posted by schmeff on June 15, 2010 at 09:40:51 PT

37 Years
That pretty much testifies to what special people you are. Congratulations on getting that whole relationship thing figured out!
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Comment #74 posted by FoM on June 15, 2010 at 09:35:39 PT

schmeff 
It's good to see you and yes it is our 37 Anniversary. That was so nice that you remembered.
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Comment #73 posted by schmeff on June 15, 2010 at 09:29:28 PT

Off Topic (not really!)
I don't get to spend as much time here with my old friends as in days gone by...and when I do check in, on this special day...I find that our dear friend Hope is confronting health issues.So I send my Hope and prayers to Hope who is always so hopeful here, and wish all manner of good karma to come your way.And FOM, I send you and Stick my best wishes as well, because unless I have my stars crossed, I think this is your anniversary. You are the glue that binds this community together, and I admire and appreciate all you do to promote the cause of good ol' common sense.
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Comment #72 posted by FoM on June 15, 2010 at 09:22:01 PT

Hope
Thank you for updating everyone. Please let us know what is scheduled on Thursday after you see the doctor. It is today isn't it?
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Comment #71 posted by Hope on June 15, 2010 at 08:51:42 PT

No. Not yet.
But that's what they told me from phone calls after the MRIs and PET scan.Whoo Hoo!It was grim, not knowing how far it had spread. Very grim. I've still got surgery, and closer inspection of lymph nodes and more biopsy work to go through. And of course... getting my port. But I was so relieved from this news and thought some of you guys might get a smile and a bit of relief too.Thank you all for your prayers.
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Comment #70 posted by FoM on June 15, 2010 at 08:46:59 PT

Hope
Are you back from the Oncologist? Everything on for Thursday? You know how happy I am that things are looking much better.
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Comment #69 posted by Hope on June 15, 2010 at 08:35:08 PT

Everything is looking good...
They have found another tumor, but it's still in the same breast and there appears to be no involvement in lymph nodes yet! Yay! And greatest of all... it's not spread to my lungs or liver or bones or anything!Rejoice with me!Heart good! Lungs good! Bones good! It hasn't spread!:0)
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Comment #68 posted by FoM on June 02, 2010 at 05:34:12 PT

Hope
We love you lady. It must be very hard to wait. 
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Comment #67 posted by BGreen on June 02, 2010 at 05:22:12 PT

Thanks FoM and Hope
It's good to know something, even if it is that we have to wait.Bro. Bud
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Comment #66 posted by Hope on June 02, 2010 at 05:06:35 PT

BGreen
Still waiting for some test reports that they have to have to make decisions and setting up tons more tests and scans of every kind to get started. Everything was now, now, now... and now it's wait, wait, wait... but not for long. I was concerned about that but she said it took two or three months to get this way, a few days to make sure they're going the best way is the best thing to do.I hope so. Seems like from hour to hour things could get worse.Depending on test results they're waiting for, they may install that chemo port first and do chemo to try to shrink the thing before they remove it.So many people have cancer. So many people have breast cancer.We'd all be a lot better off if there were fewer well trained DEA agents and more well trained lab technicians and pathologists.More than ever I understand some of this medical cannabis situation. Patients find out one day and things start moving pretty quickly. They have to have a place to go and buy the herb and the great help that cannabis can often be. Could I find some seeds and grow a plant to maturity this week... or last week. I don't think so.Governor Christie... wait? Wait six months?
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Comment #65 posted by FoM on June 02, 2010 at 04:26:16 PT

BGreen
I did talk to Hope in an e-mail after she got back from the surgeon. I know what is going on but it's not up to me to say. I don't know why she hasn't commented. I did send her an e-mail and mentioned you were asking about her. Hopefully everything is ok. Keep those prayers coming.
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Comment #64 posted by BGreen on June 01, 2010 at 21:18:50 PT

Sleep well, my dear Hope
I don't blame you for not checking in with us. I'll just keep up the prayers and good thoughts until you come by the neighborhood."Push em back... push em back... waaaay back." :)Bro. Bud
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Comment #63 posted by BGreen on June 01, 2010 at 16:03:49 PT

My mind has been on you all day, Hope
I hope all went well with the surgeon today. Share with us if you want. No pressure.Bro. Bud
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Comment #62 posted by FoM on May 31, 2010 at 19:02:18 PT

Hope
I enjoyed our talk on the phone tonight. I love you so much. So many here feel the same way as I do. CNews is special. It has special people who care. I know tomorrow you are going to see the surgeon. No sense in not sharing with others. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. 
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Comment #61 posted by BGreen on May 31, 2010 at 18:54:44 PT

Thank You, Hope
Thank you for letting us be there for you. Thank you for caring as much for us as we care for you. Thank you for giving us the chance to do something ... anything ...that we can to help you, even if it is a silly joke thrown in with an abundance of prayer.Thank you for being you, Hope (if that really is your name.)LOLBro. Bud
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Comment #60 posted by Hope on May 31, 2010 at 18:20:38 PT

I thought about not mentioning this to anyone.
At first I wasn't even going to tell my family until I found out what was what. That was a mistake to think that would be the way to go. Don't do it if you find yourself in this situation. Even having someone with you when you first get the diagnosis is invaluable. I had the appointment and knew about it for a few days before I even told my family. Called on a Friday and couldn't see anyone until the following Monday. Kind of like this weekend has worked out. Everything comes up on a weekend or a holiday. But during that first waiting weekend, my husband started talking about maybe letting our expensive insurance lapse or getting something cheaper since he was fixing to retire and it would be even more expensive. I had to tell him then. I'm very glad they were with me from the first appointment now.I decided to burden you guys when I realized I needed your prayers and thoughts. And you haven't let me down. I knew you wouldn't though. If I thought you wouldn't care, I wouldn't have mentioned it. I'm so encouraged now... and believe me, I was discouraged... a lot. You've given me strength. Thank you. All of you. 
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Comment #59 posted by FoM on May 31, 2010 at 08:10:16 PT

Hope
You are loved. I want you to know that I really care about you. I know you know that. Try to have a nice day.
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Comment #58 posted by BGreen on May 30, 2010 at 22:06:11 PT

The Toby Keith Cancer Fighting Plan
It would first entail him actually smoking weed with Willie again and then he'd put a boot up the cancer's a$$ 'cause it's the American way. :)Cheers, Hope!Bro. Bud
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Comment #57 posted by Hope on May 30, 2010 at 21:38:23 PT

C Quark, Museman, Sensemilla, BGreen, Por1
Charmed Quark, "It was hard to focus on anything and I'd get these periodic sensations of chills and dread. Towards the end of the waiting period, though, I was actually settling down and ready to begin fighting or preparing for a final outcome. I actually started feeling better." Thank you so much for telling me that. That "Chills and dread"... I'd never experienced anything like that. It really freaked me out. I thought it was some part of dieing maybe. I read on a breast cancer forum where one woman had been shaking for several days since her diagnosis and couldn't stop. It was such a relief to know that you, even though all turned out well, experienced that... and reading about that woman that couldn't stop shaking. To know it is a phenomenon that others have experienced made me much less afraid of it. Thank you so much.Thank you, Museman. I can't express how much your prayers, and everyone's prayers mean to me. I know they have amazing power in the scheme of things and I'm so grateful.Sensemilla Jones, BGreen :0) I'm going to do my best. Thank you. Por1, Thank you so much. I'm checking that site out right now. Thank you.
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Comment #56 posted by por1 on May 30, 2010 at 20:37:35 PT:

Hope
Our prayers are with you.Please go to this web site.Look it over real good.I have met this guy and I know for a fact that this has saved many lives.I use it just for pain and it works.Look it over good and call them.Please
http://www.nighthawkminerals.com/index.htm
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Comment #55 posted by BGreen on May 30, 2010 at 16:34:44 PT

Wasn't that an animated comedy?
Beavis and Buttbreast?I could be mistaken. ;)Bro. Bud
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Comment #54 posted by Sinsemilla Jones on May 30, 2010 at 15:05:17 PT

Love You Hope!!!
Kick that cancer's butt!!!(Even though it's breast cancer, I figure it's bound to have a butt to kick.)
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Comment #53 posted by museman on May 30, 2010 at 10:58:25 PT

Hope
Words simply fail. You have my prayers and best wishes. And I dare believe that the strength you have evidenced will carry you through this.Feel free to email me.
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Comment #52 posted by Hope on May 30, 2010 at 09:26:31 PT

Charmed Quark
It is scary. I'm so glad yours turned out well. Very glad.Thank you, Ekim.Always before I was upset and outraged at what the prohibitionists were doing to other people. The grief. The sorrow. The cruelty.Now I know personally, exactly what it feels like to be told I can't use the nonpoisonous herb that might help me a lot through this... and had I been able to use it before hand, might have even prevented this. Not likely, maybe, but they know it has anti-cancer properties. They know it. But they think it's not worth some risk they imagine. At least some of them know it.In trying to control my anger and outrage towards them, I always thought they should be stopped. In the position I'm in now... and it would be worse even if it was someone I loved... I'm having the feeling they don't need just stopping but they should be punished.I can't punish them though... and wouldn't if I could. All I can hold on to in that is "Forgive them. They know not what they do."
 
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Comment #51 posted by charmed quark on May 30, 2010 at 07:13:33 PT

Know a little bit how you feel
I think I can emphasize a little with you. I just went through a cancer scare when they found a spot on my lung during a regular chest x-ray for something else. It was amazing how the medical people's attitudes immediately changed and they started getting really serious with me saying I had to start arranging for a serious of follow up tests immediately.The doctor told me, given my history of cigarette smoking ( I quit 18 years ago!) and age that there was a 60-70% probability it was lung cancer. I worked out the statistics and discovered I had a 50% probability, all things considered, of being dead in 2-3 years.It took several weeks to arrange a CT scan and some blood work, to be followed by a biopsy if the CT still looked suspicious, which gave me time to think about it. I think in my case I felt worst than I should have since I knew that if I did have cancer it was related to my own behavior.It was hard to focus on anything and I'd get these periodic sensations of chills and dread. Towards the end of the waiting period, though, I was actually settling down and ready to begin fighting or preparing for a final outcome. I actually started feeling better.So the other week I finally got the CT and it turned out to be benign.This has left me feeling very strongly for others going through this process.Take care, Hope.
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Comment #50 posted by ekim on May 30, 2010 at 06:44:48 PT

good going Hope 
may your compassionate words for others come full circle to you.
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Comment #49 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 22:23:12 PT

Thank you, Canis420
I'm trying. 
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Comment #48 posted by Canis420 on May 29, 2010 at 21:30:15 PT:

The ? mark
was a typo darnit :)
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Comment #47 posted by Canis420 on May 29, 2010 at 21:27:26 PT:

Hope
I have only been here at cnews a short while but I have a feel for what you mean to this community and to the struggle. Your plight is in my thoughts and my prayers. Stay Strong!
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Comment #46 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 14:56:00 PT

Got me again!
I love you too, Brother Bud.
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Comment #45 posted by BGreen on May 29, 2010 at 14:46:33 PT

You'd Better Watch Out, Girlie
There's a lot more from where that came from. You'd better duck and cover from the comedic shrapnel ASAP!Love Ya!Bro. Bud
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Comment #44 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 14:19:30 PT

Lol!
You did it!Thank you very much.
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Comment #43 posted by BGreen on May 29, 2010 at 14:10:58 PT

That Might Work, Hope
I think I may just learn to pass out at will and stay unconscious through as much of it as possible.That's how I made it through most of my college years. :)Bro. Bud
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Comment #42 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 13:56:46 PT

BGreen
:0) I'm doing good under the circumstances. Might as well be me as someone else. There are so many women that have been or are going through this. So many. I'm a part of humanity and it strikes all over humanity. This time it landed on me. Believe me, I have more than my share of anger issues. I do my share of seething and know what hatred and rage are. If I didn't have a problem with it, I wouldn't be fighting it so much. I know how it feels. But I don't think that gave me cancer. A glitch of some sort did. I get to thinking about it and I nearly faint. I think I may just learn to pass out at will and stay unconscious through as much of it as possible.
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Comment #41 posted by BGreen on May 29, 2010 at 12:43:04 PT

Vitamin D3
Don't take it mixed with anything. Buy the pure supplements. Mrs. Green and I both took 3,000 IU all winter long and didn't get sick at all. I usually get at least a mild cold but this year, nothing. I was taking it to protect against the flu but it works against so much more.You can't OD on Vitamin D3 so please, please, please, take at least 2,000 to 3,000 IU starting immediately. It is dirt cheap and available almost anywhere.I'll also hook you up with Mercola.com. I trust this doctor with my life. He is so much on the cutting edge that the "medical establishment" likes to call him a quack. That's funny because what some call "quackery" many times becomes cutting edge science, although very few apologize for slandering such important doctors as Dr. Mercola.You are not alone, Hope, not in the slightest.Brother Bud
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Comment #40 posted by BGreen on May 29, 2010 at 12:30:16 PT

OMG, Hope!
I read about you last night and couldn't even reply. I want to be the person who lifts your spirits through laughter but I'm having a really hard time finding anything funny at all.My heart is broken for you and your family. I don't know why this has to happen to you of all people. You're not bogged down with the anger and bitterness that overwhelms so many of us. You don't seethe with rage, you are empathetic to those who even wish you harm and then, boom, out of nowhere, this has to happen.All I can do is offer my love and prayers to you. I agree with Herbdoc215 in that I will do ANYTHING in my earthly power to help you, even as helpless as I feel right now.I love you so much, Hope. That sounds silly since I've never even seen your face or heard your voice, but my heart speaks very clear on these matters.Brother Bud
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Comment #39 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 08:06:43 PT

I love you, too, Afterburner. You know that.
Thank you so much for all that information. It looks very encouraging. I will be eating me some broccoli!The vitamin D I take is mixed with calcium and other vitamins. I do get out in the sun some without sunblock some, everyday. I had cut down on the Vitamin D lately because I felt like the large dose of calcium I was taking was messing with my head. It can in large doses, cause a peculiar sense of depression. Oh man, I'm truly dreading all the doctoring. As you know, I'm pretty scared of that whole deal... but I've no choice at this point but to subject myself to a lot of it. But I'm going to read up on all that stuff you linked to. Thank you so much, my sweet friend.
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Comment #38 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 07:56:54 PT

My dear dear Herbdoc...
Thank you.
.
I know you would do anything you could to help me. I know that and I really do appreciate it. You know you don't want to ever have to come back to Texas... and I don't want you to. It can be a mean place. A very mean place. I know... you being you and a man, don't care about that. But I do. Stay safe and keep helping all the people there that need your help.I'll put that email in my address book. Thank you. It seems like a little treasure. 
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Comment #37 posted by afterburner on May 29, 2010 at 07:37:14 PT

Hope #11
Hope, we love you. Please consider your alternatives!Suzanne Somers speaks out against the conventional cancer industry: mammograms, chemotherapy vs. alternative cures
By Mike Adams, NaturalNews Editor
November 18 - As the author of the New York Times bestseller, "Knockout: Interviews with doctors who are curing cancer," Suzanne Somers is making waves across the cancer industry. Her powerful, inspired message of informed...
http://www.naturalnews.com/027526_Suzanne_Somers_curing_cancer.htmlSuzanne Somers' Cancer Controversy.
6 min - 20 Oct 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQicB_7KNL8Breast cancer breakthrough: broccoli component zaps cells that ...19 May 2010 ... Breast cancer breakthrough: broccoli component zaps cells that fuel tumor growth.
http://www.naturalnews.com/028822_broccoli_brst_cancer.html Breast cancer virtually "eradicated" with higher levels of vitamin D8 Feb 2010 ... Vitamin D is "the cure" for breast cancer that the cancer industry ridiculously claims to be searching for. The cure already exists! ...
http://www.naturalnews.com/028119_vitamin_D_brst_cancer.htmlRead About Four Cancer Survivors Who Used Natural Cancer Treatments14 Dec 2009 ... (NaturalNews) Four very different individuals used four very different plans that have one thing in common: they cure cancer. ...
http://www.naturalnews.com/027731_cancer_survivors_natural_remedies.htmlPot Shrinks Tumors; Government Knew in '74
http://www.alternet.org/drugreporter/9257I have watched too many friends and family maimed or killed by mainstream cancer treatments. I can no longer be silent.Love, afterburner
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Comment #36 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 07:28:15 PT

But I'm so scared
that a chill, a rigor, ripples of cold fear and grief sometimes passes through and over me. It's very unpleasant. I've heard about it... I've read a lot and listened a lot... but I've never experienced it until a few days ago and I've experienced it a few times since then.It sucks!!!But you know what, Joyce and Calvina, you can't see that either. You could feel it if you were hugging me at the time probably... but you probably don't feel too huggy towards me if you're even aware that I exist.... but I know you know C-News exists and might check in here once in a while... so maybe you do know this "legalizer" exists."Preventionist?" You're riding people. You're pursuing and spying on and searching people. You're backbiting. You're hurting, intimidating, instilling fear, threating and cheating and imprisoning people. What's wrong with you?
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Comment #35 posted by herbdoc215 on May 29, 2010 at 07:17:18 PT:

Hope, your loved beyond words...
I just want you to know how special you are and that my prayers will be with you constantly. Please, please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to help. If you need medicine, I would be proud to deliver it or anything else you need so don't be bashful about asking for help as it would make me proud as peaches to be able to help you out! You hang in there and keep the faith and believe that the world needs you more than ever, you will beat this. Here is my email address if you need to get a hold of me for anything or just need an ear to listen to you. peace and love, Steve Tuck
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Comment #34 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 07:11:47 PT

Joyce and Calvina
If you're reading here. You and all of the prohibitionists that get all bent out of shape about "Healthy" people going in dispensaries to get cannabis for medical needs... I look great! I hate to have to say it myself. I'm tall and straight and strong. I've gained too much weight over the last couple of years so I'm rather stout, too. :0) Stout and very strong and apparently healthy. I have the grace and agility of a dancer... except when I'm not dancing... sometimes I can't walk across a room without tripping over my own feet or tripping over something.I'm sixty one and I can still kick! :0) And dance, and run and jump and holler!You prohibitionists would say, "Good grief! Look at her. There's nothing wrong with her! She's healthy as a horse. What a fraud this medical marijuana is." Sneer SneerAll the harsh manufactured chemicals in the water, the air, and the food we eat probably is the cause of many if not most cancers anyway. There's poisons manufactured legally and consumed by many every day. Yet you would deny people the use of a plant, a non poisonous plant... an herb. You would despise them for even wanting to try to use it.What's wrong with you? You don't like the way people act when they are using cannabis? You'd like to hurt them when you know they're doing it?Well you're wrong to be that way. Get over it. Pull yourself together and get off people's backs!
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Comment #33 posted by FoM on May 29, 2010 at 06:19:15 PT

Hope
Yes we have to continue to fight to change the law on Cannabis. If you were able, but I know how hard it would be for you, to consume as much cannabis in tincture or food form that you could handle. Cannabis helps shrink tumors. Let's get this done and soon.
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Comment #32 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 06:13:38 PT

 :0)
And I ain't dead yet... not by a long shot.Let's end prohibition!
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Comment #31 posted by Hope on May 29, 2010 at 05:54:38 PT

Greenmed, Runruff, Martha
Greenmed, thank you... and I told the little jack booted thugs to "Get out of me!"Runruff, I'm so sorry. There's always plenty of trouble and grief on every hand for everyone. One reason why I don't understand how people can set out to bring others grief... like they do when they set out to bring people grief over growing, having, using or wanting to use a wonderful plant.I hope your loved ones recover quickly and you can let that burden go that's weighing so heavily on you. You have health issues of our own that you have to tend to and you don't need these extra burdens. I'm sorry.FoM, I'm sorry you didn't sleep well... and I'm glad you have your little furball to hug in my place. It makes me happy that she's likely really enjoying my hugs. Now... got to find a way to shake loose from some of this grief and fear.One of the best ways of doing that is doing my best to help my friends fight to end the persecution of and the war on cannabists.
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Comment #30 posted by FoM on May 29, 2010 at 04:43:42 PT

Hope
I couldn't sleep very well last night. I fell asleep thinking of you. I woke up thinking of you and how much I love you. I hate this is happening to you. I hate how unfair this is. I even hugged my puppy this morning which I don't normally do but I was thinking of you. You will win this battle. I have tears in my eyes. We will always be here for you. Paint with Light, Thank you.
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Comment #29 posted by runruff on May 29, 2010 at 02:47:24 PT

Sorry to wait so long to respond!
I read your post yesterday, I was so stunned with grief I have not yet been able to respond to your news, Hope!I have had a tri-infecta here at our family hearth. My Mother just now recovering from pneumonia and lung infection, Linda's Mom had a tumor removed next to her heart last week and her sister had some very scary "female" surgery four weeks ago before that and now you?My sadness and concern for those whom I love , including you now, is like a weight inside of my chest.I am going to predict, here and now, that you may have your work cut out for you but like my other loved ones here, your reward will be renewed health. In our way, in our capacity and ability to do so, we will be there for you!
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Comment #28 posted by greenmed on May 29, 2010 at 00:39:59 PT

Hope
You are a strong and eloquent voice against the wrongs of the drug war - the doors rammed-in, followed by a trail of unwelcome guests toting deadly weapons, endangering all people and animals in their way. I don't wish to seem glib, but cancer is similar, in a way, and has no right to be in you. Tell it so... tell those jack-booted cancer cells they are definitely not welcome in your body. And yes, get your treatment started asap.Take care of yourself, first and foremost, and know that your brothers and sisters of your CNews family are always here for you. You are well-beloved.
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Comment #27 posted by Hope on May 28, 2010 at 21:51:47 PT

Thank you, Paint with Light.
I know you will be.And of course, what you have to say, is worth saying and worth our reading. Thank you for your posts. Very much.
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Comment #26 posted by Paint with light on May 28, 2010 at 21:50:44 PT

FoM
My thoughts are also with you this weekend..........especially Monday.
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Comment #25 posted by Paint with light on May 28, 2010 at 21:37:43 PT

Hope
My thoughts will be with you as you fight this challenge.I am here mainly because of you and FoM.You both made me feel my voice was worth speaking.Hope, you have always seemed to find just the right thing to say to me at just the right time.I admire your constant pursuit of clearly expressing yourself.You are really aware of the sounds and placement of words.You have helped us to speak with a better voice.All of us will have your back on this journey.You are a strong lady, and if you need reminding, encouraging, or just someone to listen, we are here for you.I know I can make that statement with 100% confidence.
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Comment #24 posted by Hope on May 28, 2010 at 21:05:14 PT

Thank you, FoM 
Good night, and you rest well, too.It's odd how talking to someone everyday, or nearly everyday, or just listening to them... reading their thoughts, ideas, and words, for a very long time about a situation and problem and news that you share a mutual interest in and other odds and ends of conversations we've had can make people friends, I think, without ever seeing each other in person, in the flesh. It's a meeting of hearts and minds and it is a real friendship and I treasure it. I'm stronger and better than I was for the many conversations I've checked in on here over the years, even if I didn't participate in maybe that particular conversation, I've read them and learned or grown from them in some way... although I've gotten to participate in a lot of them. :0) I've met and conversed with so many interesting people that I wouldn't have met had not the Internet brought their words right into my home, my consciousness, and often into my heart.Many of us have shared a lot of real trials and tribulations with each other here over the years. Over time it grew to mean a lot to me. People and ideas here became a part of my everyday life.Sometimes we forget and easily take for granted what a powerful and wonderful tool of world wide and instant communication we have here in the internet. It's amazing and wonderful. Very amazing. Imagine telegraphs and telephones and now the Internet. It's amazing and I feel so lucky to have made use of it and participated with so many in it's use.In the morning... I hope to see that something came to Runruff during the night or early tomorrow morning that will at least make me smile if not make me outright laugh when I check into C-News with my coffee tomorrow morning... God willing. I know Runruff can for sure encourage a "Merry heart" in me, if anyone can. I do love you all.

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Comment #23 posted by FoM on May 28, 2010 at 20:30:18 PT

Hope
Don't feel like an idiot. I've never had one. I think many women don't have them. I'm calling it a day and I want you know that you are very much in my heart and prayers. Try to get rest. I know that will be hard but please try. You are a strong woman. You will fight this and do a great job. Love ya Lady.
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Comment #22 posted by Hope on May 28, 2010 at 20:15:03 PT

JustGetnBy
It is good to see you... and thank you for coming out of lurkdom to encourage me. You're so sweet.My female friends, get those mammograms when you're supposed to. My doc had told me to get them and I procrastinated and put it off until I forgot it and it was 2007 since I had one... although I'd had yearly check ups with the doc and I did regular self exams and just didn't catch it until now. I was going to do it... soon. But time can go by so quickly.Sucks.Get your mammograms if you can. Now I feel like an idiot for putting it off.
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Comment #21 posted by FoM on May 28, 2010 at 20:07:15 PT

JustGetnBy
It's really good to see you. 
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Comment #20 posted by FoM on May 28, 2010 at 20:01:50 PT

Hope
I believe the treatment for breast cancer has come a long way. My niece who has lung cancer has been getting chemo for a longtime now and has never once been nauseated. The drugs are better then they were and more effective. My one nephew's wife got breast cancer. They caught it early and she never lost a days work and she has been cancer free for a few years now.
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Comment #19 posted by Hope on May 28, 2010 at 19:51:50 PT

Thank you both. You, too, Dankhank.
You know I'm going to be here, dragging you guys through it with me! The emotions are rough and I know others have gone through it too... and I'll take any advice or encouragement I can get.One of my brothers, that I love very much, has a tumor on his pituitary that gives him a lot of pain and grief and frightens him... although his doctors think they shouldn't operate unless it grows bad or something. They said people live for years and years with them without even knowing they have them. He just says he wishes he didn't know about it. They check it every six months or so... if he goes into have it checked as often as he should. It's hard for him. Worse than this really. At least they're going to jump on this and try to cure me up as soon as possible. It's just waiting and knowing and a considerable amount of fear and misery and trepidation for him. He knows how I feel right now. So does my Mother. She's had malignant cancer... in a saliva gland, underwent surgery and intensive treatment, and has been cancer free for about thirty years now. It took six years of horrible pain before they found hers. This has been sudden and fast...so I haven't had years of misery beforehand to deal with too... on top of such a sucking diagnosis. As far as "sucking diagnosis"... my doctor said it's not a death sentence like it used to be. I'm really trying to be optimistic... that fluctuates to fear and dismay... but I'm still able to be optimistic. It slips sometimes ... but I'm optimistic.
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Comment #18 posted by FoM on May 28, 2010 at 18:33:23 PT

Hope
You are the best. You are like a sister to me. You have been a best friend. You will go thru many different emotions and that's perfectly normal. Don't be afraid to share how you feel here or in an e-mail or on the phone. 
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Comment #17 posted by JustGetnBy on May 28, 2010 at 18:21:13 PT

I am a lurker

and I have been reading C News for years.You are a darlin.
 My love and best thoughts to you.
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Comment #16 posted by Hope on May 28, 2010 at 17:59:03 PT

Don't be surprised if I do
"call anytime day or night."If I got phoenix tears and got caught I could die in prison.:0(I'm very worried about some of my family members. They are taking it very hard. Some dread what I have to go through and are very sad about that and others are so fearful of losing me it's making them ill.We all have to be strong. I don't want them to be devastated. It is hard. But we have to do what we have to do. I have to have more hard stuff happen to me and I just have to suck it up and do the best I can... although it's already started. The biopsy was no fun. I don't want to fall apart. I want to laugh and have a "Merry heart". I want those I love to do the same.Everybody has to die. I want to live and I will try to live. I still have lots to do... but if it's my time... it's my time. But I'm going to do all I can or am allowed to do to survive this.If it's not my time to die, it will be my time to survive.

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Comment #15 posted by FoM on May 28, 2010 at 17:18:03 PT

Hope
Oh Hope, I was really hoping it was benign. God Bless You. We love you so much. We will always be here for you. If you need me call anytime day or night.
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Comment #14 posted by Dankhank on May 28, 2010 at 17:17:06 PT

peace, Hope
phoenix tears
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Comment #13 posted by Hope on May 28, 2010 at 15:35:19 PT

:0)
Thank you much. You know I appreciate it. And nobody needs to say anything. I know you care. I wanted you to know and I want your prayers and good thoughts.
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Comment #12 posted by charmed quark on May 28, 2010 at 15:30:59 PT

Sending good thoughts your way, Hope
I'm sorry to hear about your medical crisis. You are in my thoughts
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Comment #11 posted by Hope on May 28, 2010 at 14:25:22 PT

Prayer and love for me and mine...please.
I have breast cancer. Malignant. Invasive. Fast growing. I'm still counting on being alright.
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Comment #10 posted by Sam Adams on May 28, 2010 at 09:32:29 PT

NJ & IL
CQ thanks for the update, it sounds like you are making progress with Christie which is fantastic. Apparently there is an excellent chance that IL will vote their medical MJ bill into law tomorrow, it already passed their Senate, the House will vote on it tomorrow, patient growing was left intact so it looks like a decent bill:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/12/illinois-house-could-lega_n_534107.html
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Comment #9 posted by charmed quark on May 28, 2010 at 04:53:38 PT

NJ Dems, Christie, clash about time table for med 
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/05/nj_gov_christies_support_for_m.htmlIt's almost refreshing, the strong reaction we are getting on this issue. Christie, for the first time, has said he supports the bill as it is and does not want more restrictions, a reversal of his earlier stance. We won't give in on the time table. Since the bill passed in January, various activist groups have been trying to contact the implementation agency (NJ DHSS), offering support in implementing the law. Many of these groups are very knowledgeable in how to set up such a system, even offering full business plans on how it can be done. No response at all. Now they are saying things like "where will the dispensaries get seeds/clones? From the Feds' farm in Mississippi?". THAT will never happen in the next couple of years as the DEA controls it and is totally opposed to the med. marij. programs. I'm sure the dispensaries will find a source without any problems.
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Comment #8 posted by runruff on May 28, 2010 at 00:07:48 PT

Christie is one of those?
He is one of those people who can obtain a high position like governor but cannot rise above the mentality of a busybody! 
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Comment #7 posted by FoM on May 27, 2010 at 16:12:19 PT

charmed quark 
Thank you for keeping us informed. I thought Christie would act this way. 
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Comment #6 posted by charmed quark on May 27, 2010 at 15:18:21 PT

Heavy pressure to implement now
Christie appears to wants to move on to national office and so doesn't care if he is a one-term governor. So it's very hard to pressure him. But right now, it is up to the Democrat-controlled state legislature to decide what to do, they have to approve - by passing a bill - any delays. We CAN pressure them and are beginning to.Christie's behavior is activating the medical marijuana movement here to a level greater than we had during the passage of the bill. This is going to blow up big if implementation rules aren't in place by the end of July.You would not believe the anger that is rising up. It's hard to keep people civil.If this bill is delayed and any medical marijuana patients get arrested during the delay, there will be hell to pay.
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Comment #5 posted by Zandor on May 27, 2010 at 14:14:43 PT

Stall Tactic
This is just a typical Republican stall tactic...TAKE THEM TO COURT AND SUE THEIR ASS OFF!!Money is the only thing Republicans respond to so sue em!!
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Comment #4 posted by Sam Adams on May 27, 2010 at 12:24:55 PT

whoops!
Christie IS the Republican governor! So this is actually the bill being killed before our eyes.Trust me, in 12 months there will be another reason to delay.......
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Comment #3 posted by Sam Adams on May 27, 2010 at 12:22:43 PT

trying not to say anything......
but I did predict that this law would never be implemented.People forgot so quickly that in the 80's and 90's some thirty states passed laws just like this NJ one. They were all designed to have self-defeating administrative or supply issues.my prediction stands: this law will never take effect. Mr. Hostile Republican Governor is waiting in the wings.

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Comment #2 posted by observer on May 27, 2010 at 11:24:31 PT

Any Excuse Will Serve
The governor seeks a postponement of six to 12 months to ensure that the proper regulations and controls are in place,.. so that police can continue to arrest and jail people in NJ for using medical marijuana. Anything, any excuse will do - to thwart the will of the people. That's government for you. "Any excuse will serve a tyrant." - Aesop
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Comment #1 posted by Sam Adams on May 27, 2010 at 09:45:24 PT

great article
http://www.centerforinvestigativereporting.org/blogpost/20100526whatdoesthekillingofasmallgirlsayaboutpoliceraidsinanageofterror
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