cannabisnews.com: Testing Positive with the Stoner Demographic










  Testing Positive with the Stoner Demographic

Posted by CN Staff on June 05, 2002 at 10:55:20 PT
By Lynn Crosbie 
Source: Globe and Mail  

Do you spend a lot of time worrying about the toxic component of your urine or hair? The pH levels in your homegrown Big Buddha? Or the precise location of your nearest doob-positive criminal attorney?Or when "Stoner of the Year" Snoop Doggy Dogg urges you to "blaze up one of them blunts," do you reach for the Big Bambus? If so, you must already be familiar with High Times, the magazine devoted to pot and its squiffy-eyed devotees.
For novices like me, whose behaviour, during my rare experiences with the drug, parallels that of Magnum P. I.'s during one of his laboured Vietnam flashbacks, the magazine was a revelation.While High Times -- whose circulation is roughly 200,000, with a strong Web-site constituency -- maintains the legal stance that it does not "encourage the illegal use of any of the products within," the editors must have a very odd definition of the word "encourage."Between paranoid advertisements for countersurveillance equipment and vacuum-sealed urine-substitution kits ("Let Us Pee for You!" the copy exclaims), the pages are laden with glossy photographs of pot plants: The centrefold this month features a Mango plant, its leaves dewy and moist, its lavender hair shining, and prehensile.I am sure that to the average pothead, this delectable, taboo centrefold is encouraging, the way that triple-layer-chocolate-cake spreads stimulate the disciples of Jenny Craig; the way that male or female pulchritude incites the sexually bereft.It is the illegality of the plant that gives it its cachet: High Times is like a substance-user's porno: fetishistic, perverse and geared to that 1 per cent, like outlaw bikers, who choose to live in a haze above the law.Yet, while reading High Times, it is difficult to recall that pot is illegal. There are a few paragraphs of agitprop devoted to the now-exhausted comparison between drinking and smoking, and most of the plant growers or users photographed are wearing hoods or hiding their heads in their crops.I wondered, after staring at page after page of, to me, boring leaves and twigs, what it is about pot smokers that they would be entranced by a moody shot of, for example, seven mason jars of hydroponic grass, stacked beside an acoustic guitar.I cannot imagine a boozer absorbing him or herself in the likes of Rummy Monthly, drooling over pictures of sticky glasses and bouquets of barley, any more than I can envision a crackhead wasting valuable pipe time looking at images of pretty white rocks.Pot smokers are, however, by nature slow and oddly methodical people, whose brief attention spans tend to be captivated by the principles of organization, and visual stimulation. They are also tediously, and often erroneously, addict-provocateurs whose logic regarding their substance of choice is fiercely skewed.While I do believe in the decriminalization of pot, and am, for aesthetic reasons, less excited by its legalization (the presence of head shops alone is a depressing enough archive of the bad old days of Styx screaming "Light up Everybody!"), I take exception to the ways in which the pro-pot argument is constructed.Its medicinal uses are often evoked, as if every bong owner is a righteously suffering glaucoma patient: I imagine Elvis used the same logic while scarfing the Dilaudids and morphine he referred to as his "medicine." And pot's analogous relationship to alcohol is also touted as an indestructible argument for legalization, which is sound, on one level, and puerile on another. If drinking is worse than pot, as the tie-dye set maintains, then why not advocate for radical changes regarding liquor legislation? To rest on the point of relative evils is something like arguing, like a grounded teenager, that what Little Timmy did was way worse.Finally, what High Times and other pot advocates fail to address is the obvious brain damage caused by the drug. While scientists are finally making clear connections between pot use and mental deterioration, hemp-fomenters refuse to view their filthy addiction as of one many filthy addictions, none of which merits praise.It is one thing to be a willful substance user; it is quite another to dignify one's white-horse ride around the margins of culture.Ultimately, High Times does have a shrewd grasp of its stoned demographic, as anyone who has ever tried to talk to a pot smoker would know. It is precisely this person who, between the bursts of inappropriate laughter, lip licking and heavy insights, will suddenly become absorbed in the orange hue of a Spice Brothers bud, its dreamy fronds, like, its beauty, man.For those of us who don't have to carry around a heated vial of a stranger's urine, or sweat the pigs when they pass, life may be not be as high, but swinging low is sweeter, no matter how little we walk through the doors of perception and lie on the floor, scrounging for Doritos. Newshawk: Richard S.Source: Globe and Mail (Canada)Author: Lynn CrosbiePublished: Wednesday, June 5, 2002 – Print Edition, Page R2Copyright: 2002 The Globe and Mail CompanyContact: letters globeandmail.caWebsite: http://www.globeandmail.ca/Canadian Linkshttp://freedomtoexhale.com/can.htmCannabisNews Articles - Canadahttp://cannabisnews.com/thcgi/search.pl?K=canada 

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Comment #23 posted by katbolen on June 08, 2002 at 18:49:26 PT:

Yuck

I wonder how many coffee houses this dumbass has frequented to derive this unremarkable psuedo-intellectual bosh she passes off as journalistic ingenuity.I wonder who passed her some pin-rolled, parsley-stuffed concoction when she was freezing someones bra at a prepubesent allnighter of yesteryears? 
She is really a nightmare. I for one want to get the bitch high for real...then bitchslap her for her giddy bullshit mentality.No, that would kill MY high.
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Comment #22 posted by Elfman_420 on June 06, 2002 at 13:45:57 PT

This timeline is so great!
Some excerpts:1776: Patriot wives and mothers organize "spinning bees" to clothe Washington's troops, spinning the thread from hemp fibers. Without hemp, the Continental Army would have frozen to death at Valley Forge.Our country is really ungrateful.December 1840: Abraham Lincoln writes, "Prohibition... goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes... A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."and, of course, there are a lot of others that are really great.. thanks goneposthole, that page definetely made it to my favorites list!

http://www.parascope.com/articles/0897/timeline.htm
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Comment #21 posted by Hope on June 06, 2002 at 12:31:18 PT

way too "cute"
Shame on her. The letter I sent to the paper:Lynn Crosbie is "too cute".....In this very serious situation, marijuana prohibition, which involves life
and death, freedom and imprisonment, injustices and tyranny, it is an
affront to anyone's dignity to read the words Ms. Crosbie stains good paper
with.Her column reminds me of the old columns that were printed defending slavery, "because they are private property belonging to people who legally bought them" and "because that's what those people were made for.",Eugenics, "because some people are just a burden to society and hold us back
as a whole." and racial "cleansing", "because some races are inferior and even dangerous to our economic welfare".Since she admits that marijuana should be legalized, obviously, she thinks
she's being just "too cute" and funny.There is nothing funny about jail.Hope, in America
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Comment #20 posted by boppy on June 06, 2002 at 08:36:26 PT

pictures of cannabis plants
I for one am a active gardener and enjoys getting gardening catalogs in the mail in late winter and early spring. It's great to flip through and look at and imagine many flowers that are pictured growing in my back yard. What's so different about looking at pictures of cannabis in bloom? If she's an "artist" then how can't she understand the lure of the beauty of this plant? She comes off as a high handed prick if you ask me.
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Comment #19 posted by Industrial Strength on June 05, 2002 at 22:58:35 PT

Miss Crosbie
I explored further the bio page and stumbled upon some of her "poetry". Needless to say, it is on the same level as this particular globe and mail contribution. Perhaps worse. All what she would consider style and no substance. God awful. That girl in your English class who the flakey female teacher loved.
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Comment #18 posted by BGreen on June 05, 2002 at 18:47:31 PT

lcrosbie globeandmail.ca
She's a regular contributor and apparently thinks she's funny.
Lynns' Bio and Picture
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Comment #17 posted by Ethan Russo MD on June 05, 2002 at 18:39:30 PT:

GPH
I think that the link you mentioned does not get it quite right. The actuality is that the Koran unequivocally forbids alcohol, but failed to mention cannabis either positively or negatively. Various clerics in Islam over the centuries have chosen to forbid it, while sometimes acknowledging its medical uses. Others have embraced it, and it was a sacramental tool of the Sufis. 
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Comment #16 posted by goneposthole on June 05, 2002 at 18:29:22 PT

Cannabis Timeline
What the prophet Mohammed permited and forbade in 800 A.D.
http://www.parascope.com/articles/0897/timeline.htm
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Comment #15 posted by goneposthole on June 05, 2002 at 18:21:51 PT

The Islam view of booze
Read the link:
http://www.themodernreligion.com/alcohol.html
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Comment #14 posted by goneposthole on June 05, 2002 at 18:20:10 PT

The Baptist view of booze 
Read the link:
http://www.llano.net/baptist/boozebrigade.htm
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Comment #13 posted by Elfman_420 on June 05, 2002 at 17:15:28 PT

alcohol.com
Go to alcohol.com and the first thing you will see is an advertisement:
What is Hangover Kombat™?
HK is a hangover management tool for dealing
with effects of drinking alcohol.
More importantly, it works. It mentions the product in various places on the site. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that! Now, go to the cannabis equivalent such as high-times.com.You will most likely see advertisements such as the ones mentioned in this article for passing a drug test. Now, you can choose to spend money on either one, but fortunately HANGOVERS ARE A REAL CONSEQUENCE OF USING ALCOHOL. Drug-testing, however, is a construct, or simply something that has been created by nasty corporations and such. It isn't a REAL side effect of using cannabis. 
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Comment #12 posted by FoM on June 05, 2002 at 13:48:56 PT

Nicholas
Oh lordy fella I needed a laugh! Thanks!
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Comment #11 posted by krutch on June 05, 2002 at 13:41:42 PT:

This Author is a BIGOT
I have never heard an author make more gross generalizations than Lynn Crosbie. Lynn is a close minded bigot. With friends like her the decriminalization movement needs no enemies. I not suprised that Lynn had "bad trips" on pot. She obviously does not have the mental capacity to handle being high. No scientific studies have uncovered any smoking gun for mental deterioration frm MJ use. This is an unresearched fabrication on Lynn's part. Her comments on the alcohol comparision show just how little critical thinking she is capable of. The alcohol comparsion makes perfect sense. In the 1930's the United States made the mistake of making booze illegal. A giant illegal enterprise was born. Some ten years later the goverment got smart and repealed prohibition. We our hoping that someday people like Lynn Crosbie might see the similarity between the current state of affairs with MJ and get smart. We don't advocate making liquor illegal because the experiment has already been done. We know that it will not work.Lynn says she is for decriminalization, but she is nothing but a poser. She does not care either way. These people are part of the problem. She also should know that High Times magazine is not representive of everyone who smokes pot any more than a magazine like Cosmopolitan is representive of all women. She should know that people worry about the toxic components in their urine and hair because a massive industry has evolved around drug testing people and denying them work based on positive results. This is not paranoia. It happens all the time.
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Comment #10 posted by goneposthole on June 05, 2002 at 12:41:36 PT

Is that all she has to write?
Maybe a couple of hundred more pages of mindless drivel would help her out of her funk.I would suppose that she has never been to alcohol.com.
http://www.alcohol.com
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Comment #9 posted by qqqq on June 05, 2002 at 12:40:24 PT

......GOOD GRIEF!......
....ya gotta admit that Lynn Crosbie did a dazzling job in this..I would like to know more about Lynn Crosbie..

.... Lynn Crosbie is rather special.........
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Comment #8 posted by Lehder on June 05, 2002 at 12:11:32 PT

some help for cannabis bigot Lynn Crosbie
Cannabis has had a profound impact on my life to the point
      where I no longer walk down the street and see a guy with a
      green Mohawk and think to myself, “****ing punk, I bet he
     don't even have a job," or see a man sitting on the curb with a
      cup full of change sitting in front of him and think "get a job,
      you dirty, worthless bastard." Yeah, I know it sounds bad,
       and that is why I am so glad to be rid of that mentality. It
      motivated me to learn more about how I can help people that
        want to be helped and how to live in peace and total
       acceptance of those that don't. It motivated me to study
       philosophy, algebra, chemistry, and history on my OWN
      time. And as I stated before the list goes on and on. But
       most of all, take it or leave it, it serves as a means of
     enlightenment. I am much more open-minded and unbiased. 
     And I'm not going to deny it, getting high makes me feel good,
            and isn't that what life is all about?http://www.marijuana-uses.com/examples/steven.htmTell us how you feel about Blacks and Hispanics, Lynn. 
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Comment #7 posted by idbsne1 on June 05, 2002 at 11:57:08 PT

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
"Please, someone in Canada, take this woman on a date & get her stoned again."Nicholas.....that was funny as sh*t!!!!!LOL!!!!idbsne1
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Comment #6 posted by Nicholas Thimmesch on June 05, 2002 at 11:47:22 PT:

I was going to post a comment.....
...but why waste the cyberspace: THIMMESCH BTW: Please, someone in Canada, take this woman on a date & get her stoned again.
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Comment #5 posted by p4me on June 05, 2002 at 11:46:21 PT

hilarious
I am glad that she convinced herself that she is right about everything. The alacrity and celerity of her thought and use of dictionary.com is lost on me. A good laugh though.Everyone speaks of pre 9/11 as a big change. The stoners are going to initiate a change come the November elections. It is a good thing she did not spend another 5 months on her article. After the election she might have decided to trash the whole thing in an effort not to look dumb.ICBS, VAAI, POW 
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Comment #4 posted by bongathon on June 05, 2002 at 11:39:40 PT:

deteriorated
"scientists are finally making clear connections between pot use and mental deterioration"
Maybe the scientists in your mind but not in the real world.
" hemp-fomenters refuse to view their filthy addiction as of one many filthy addictions"
so, now everyone who smokes pot is an addict, weren't we just talking about alcohol, i guess everyone who drinks is an addict, oh, and everyone who works is a work addict...everyone who has sex...ect...
gee, i'm just glad you're on our side or is my brain too deteriorated to use, please let me know, i am very worried now.
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Comment #3 posted by Lehder on June 05, 2002 at 11:31:16 PT

when a turkey knife won't do
I guess I don't live in Lynn Crosbie's part of town, because thepot smokers I've known are chessmasters, scientists, musicians, and plenty of ordinary and responsible level-headed productive people. She ought to read about some of them here:http://www.marijuana-uses.com/examples/and the ones who designed and built her computer, here:http://nepenthes.lycaeum.org/Misc/nerdvalley.htmlWithout the slightest reference to evidence or fact, she's given us her image of the Cheech & Chong stereotype. We've heard it all before. At least she favors decriminalization. But I think kaptinemo might be looking for this loudmouth, and I have just the thing for him:Jarvis Products Corporation. Jarvis has started to manufacture its Model
                JCK-1 Automatic Hog Splitter. The JCK-1 incorporates the latest, patented
                technology in automatic hog splitting, including a five axis computerized
                mechanism capable of splitting a maximum 650 hogs per hour - regardless
                of size or weight. Other features include customized PLC programs to
                handle individual plant processing requirements, a variable speed cutting
                head for handling different blade types, an adjustable splitting station
                movement that adapts to production line variances, and pressurized
                lubrication for extended bearing and gear life. The rugged, stainless steel
                constructed JCK-1 is 13 1/2 feet high, 11 feet wide and 7 feet deep. Jarvis'
                Automatic Hog Splitter provides higher production rates, and feather bone
                cuts down the center. http://www.mtgplace.com/com/jarvis/
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Comment #2 posted by TroutMask on June 05, 2002 at 11:26:49 PT

blah blah blah
"I cannot imagine a boozer absorbing him or herself in the likes of Rummy Monthly, drooling over pictures of sticky glasses and bouquets of barley..."How about one of the many magazines devoted wine, beer, or other alcohols? I'd bet there's at least one magazine devoted to cigars, pipe tobacco and/or cigarettes. No? How about cooking magazines that provide anything but fat-free recipes? Nah, can't be bothered with facts..."Pot smokers are, however, by nature slow and oddly methodical people, whose brief attention spans tend to be captivated by the principles of organization, and visual stimulation."Yep, and people who drink alcohol are disheveled red-eyed wife-, child- and husband-beaters who can't make it to work because they are constantly hung over. Yep, stereotype begets stereotype."If drinking is worse than pot, as the tie-dye set maintains, then why not advocate for radical changes regarding liquor legislation?"Why not let people decide between consuming nothing, alcohol or a much safer alcohol alternative to alcohol like marijuana? Why can't we let people decide on their own? Why does it have to be one substance is legal while others are not without any scientific information to support such leglislation?"For those of us who don't have to carry around a heated vial of a stranger's urine, or sweat the pigs when they pass, life may be not be as high, but swinging low is sweeter, no matter how little we walk through the doors of perception and lie on the floor, scrounging for Doritos."Odd, I never carry urine nor sweat the POLICE when they pass but my life is sweet indeed. Maybe I should guzzle more booze so I can see why my life is actually quite crappy.This is yet another article attacking alternative life-styles and choices even when they hurt no one but the user, if anyone. Too bad boozers are right but anyone who prefers anything else is wrong. And the wrong must be jailed to prevent them having the wrong kind of fun and relaxation.-TM
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Comment #1 posted by greenmed on June 05, 2002 at 11:14:36 PT

exasperating
Lynn, go back under your bridge, you angry troll.
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