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| Regrets, They’ve Had a Few |
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Posted by FoM on April 15, 2002 at 14:02:48 PT By Gersh Kuntzman, Newsweek Web Exclusive Source: Newsweek Magazine 
Pass the doobie, dude, the Mayor of New York is a stoner! OK, so maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it certainly didn’t stop the good people of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) from making Mayor Mike Bloomberg the centerpiece of a new ad that suggests that Mary Jane is as American as apple pie. This is accomplished by recycling an offhand comment that then-candidate Bloomberg made on the campaign trail last year. When asked by New York Magazine whether he’d ever smoked pot—a question which, by the way, seems hoary and desperate nowadays, like asking a candidate if he’s ever had an affair (puh leeze)—Bloomberg answered honestly, “You bet I did. And I enjoyed it.” At the time, the remark didn’t hurt Bloomberg’s campaign. In fact, it was barely followed-up by the New York press corps—which contains more ex-stoners than there are at a Phish concert in Berkeley. The NORML ad doesn’t suggest that Gracie Mansion is now a crackhouse; its goal is only to point out that if the mayor of New York City—a stiff billionaire who would look as comfortable in tie-dyed clothing as Wavy Gravy would in a suit—has indulged in a little of the wacky weed, then, logically speaking, everyone on the planet must be firing up bongs nightly. “Smoking marijuana is extraordinarily commonplace,” contended Keith Stroup, executive director and co-founder of NORML. “The mayor of New York, the governor of New York, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. These are not people with wasted lives.” (Unless you count Thomas, that is; I still think he hasn’t reached his true calling: reviewing porn movies for Penthouse.) Bloomberg’s ill-considered drug “endorsement” gave NORML just the opening it needed—an opportunity that never seemed to present itself under New York’s prior mayor, the opera-loving, defiantly anti-fun Rudy Giuliani. As New York Times columnist Clyde Haberman rightly described him the other day, Giuliani always “comes across as someone who got a briefcase for his 12th birthday—and loved it.” So not only hadn’t Rudy had hash with his eggs, he targeted marijuana users. Under Giuliani, the NYPD arrested 52,000 people for possession in 2001, up from just 2,000 the year before he took office. Of course, now that Bloomberg is mayor, he can’t really go around town regaling his constituents about the sheer bliss of smoking a bowl. In fact, the other day, Hizzoner felt the need to distance himself from his prior drug use. Here is the belabored explanation Bloomberg gave for his pot-smoking (and, in case you’re not a native speaker of Clintonian, I’ve provided parenthetical annotations): Bloomberg’s retroactive case of regret is contagious. Not to be outdone, the speaker of the New York City Council, Gifford Miller, also admitted that he’d smoked pot—although Miller quickly added that he did not enjoy it. (So much for his chances of becoming mayor.) With politicians coming down with regret like stoners come down with the munchies, I couldn’t help but wonder what the big deal is. (Full disclosure: Mom, I never got high when I was in college, although I once smoked a clove cigarette and found myself running around campus in a white angora sweater. You had to be there.) Using the government’s own statistics, 76 million Americans have toked in their lives and 19 million got wicked baked as recently as last year. And many polls show that most Americans think that arresting hundreds of thousands of pot smokers every year is not a good use of police resources. But if politicians’ all regret their prior drug use, perhaps they were just mirroring their constituents. Perhaps those 76 million Americans are sitting home wringing their hands all night long about their youthful transgressions. To find out, I started making random calls. It turns out, the only thing people regretted was not mowing enough grass when they were younger. Another random American expressed similar regret that he’d never harvested hemp. “I was such a loser in college that I was afraid,” he said. “I had no friends, either.” Not that this column wants to suggest that illicit drug use is a sure way to have a vibrant social life in college, but, who are we kidding, it is. It certainly worked for a nice Jewish boy named Michael Bloomberg—and he got pretty high in life, didn’t he? Note: Mike Bloomberg’s ill-considered drug “endorsement” gave NORML just the opening it needed. Gersh Kuntzman is also a columnist for The New York Post. His Web site is at: http://www.gersh.tv Source: Newsweek (US) NORML Ad - Pictures & Articles It's Time To Turn Tables On War On Drugs Mayoral Marijuana Martyrdom Home Comment Email Register Recent Comments Help |
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| Comment #23 posted by CorvallisEric on April 17, 2002 at 06:45:18 PT |
| I agree with Dan B. on this one, though I don't personally care for the author's forced, rib-poking, self-conscious kind of humor. But that's probably just his style and unrelated to the subject. His most important line is totally serious: And many polls show that most Americans think that arresting hundreds of thousands of pot smokers every year is not a good use of police resources. [ Post Comment ] |
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Comment #22 posted by Dan B on April 16, 2002 at 23:45:17 PT:
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| As I said to kaptinemo and Sam Adams, I respect your opinion. I'll add this to that statement: I can understand why all three of you are disgusted with it. I just happen to disagree on this one, so I hope we can agree to disagree. I guess I see two sides to the article and choose to view it from the more positive angle. I can say this: it takes a myriad of viewpoints to make positive change. I can see value in valuing this article as much as I can see value in hating it and saying so. Dan B [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #21 posted by Lehder on April 16, 2002 at 20:09:25 PT |
| wrt Bloomberg, I'm with kaptinemo. The article seeks to make light of Bloomberg's smoking and to excuse him as he destroys thousands of others for the same. He's no better than his victims; but if he imagines that he is, then let's hear why. In a previous article I listed a few questions for Bloomberg. In response to our questions and challenges we've consistently been either ignored or insulted. That's because Bloomberg and his fellow drug warriors have no answers, only brutal force to keep the drug war's profits flowing. I want the public to know that he has no answers. I'm all in favor of a few laughs, but when it comes to drug warriors who found no harm in smoking weed there are other ways of cracking ribs. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #20 posted by Lehder on April 16, 2002 at 20:01:37 PT |
| You've got Ashcroft's number all right, SansSuperego. He's a real quirky guy with his prayer meetings each morning and his curtain over the Lady of Justice who stood unmolested since 1937 - until he was offended by her bosom. His little motto "Only God--no other king," taken from his song "Let the Eagle Soar," reminds me of another motto - "Deutschland uber Alles." Ashcroft is telling us that he can do as he pleases because of his religion; a lot of suckers buy this crap, but I say hang him. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #19 posted by SansSuperego on April 16, 2002 at 15:37:46 PT |
| "Only God--no other king" This is an actual lyric from Ashcroft's "patriotic" song. In fact, it is not a song of patriotism, but one of fundamentalist radicalism. It is saying that Ashcroft wants a country to become a country of, by and for Christians, where everyone is forced to live with decisions made by people like him, who have long forsaken the concept of love and have embraced fascist materialism with a holier-than-thou bent. His type believe that the country would be better off if everyone lived by the rules he has established for himself with his particular brand of Bible scholarship (which entails picking out the Old Testament laws he would like to see enforced and dismissing the others, completely dismissing the evidence of contradictory statements, and ignoring all references to love). It is despicable that we have such a person as the nation's "top cop" (strange that the position is now called that, as the title clearly states that he is an attorney, and should therefore be an advocate for the people, not an advocate for agents of the state). Whatever. SansSuperego [ Post Comment ] |
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Comment #18 posted by Dan B on April 16, 2002 at 15:20:52 PT:
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| First, I have always respected your opinions, and I admire almost everything you have written on Cannabis News. But I have to take exception to your analysis of this article. To begin, I encourage you both to pick up Michael Moore's Stupid White Men. Better yet, visit his website at http://www.michaelmoore.com Michael Moore is perhaps our country's foremost advocate of using humor to get a political point across, which is exactly what this article is doing. The author of this article is not making excuses for Bloomberg; he is chastising him for his hypocrisy. At the same time, he is making a point: if Bloomberg can get away with smoking the herb--even to the point of being elected mayor of the nation's largest city--why can't the rest of us? Further, he is not letting him weasel out of his "transgressions": But if politicians’ all regret their prior drug use, perhaps they were just mirroring their constituents. Perhaps those 76 million Americans are sitting home wringing their hands all night long about their youthful transgressions. To find out, I started making random calls. It turns out, the only thing people regretted was not mowing enough grass when they were younger. In other words, he's not letting him get away with assuming that his constituents regretted their past cannabis use, and is in fact saying that most people regret not using the herb more often--suggesting that to assume otherwise is politically indolent and stupid. Sorry if the humor bothers you, but satire has been a legitimate form of political discourse for centuries. To assume that this article is "bad" because it is humorous seems a little like assuming that Jonathan Swift really did want people to start eating their children when he wrote "A Modest Proposal." Dan B [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #17 posted by greenfox on April 16, 2002 at 13:17:56 PT |
| "Mary Jane is as American as apple pie." That's because it is. Notice the tone in how they denounce and trivialize norml and its efforts. Don't pay attention to those druggies; laugh and laud them with us. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #16 posted by BGreen on April 16, 2002 at 09:43:31 PT |
| is the inventor, manufacturer and distributor of my medicine, which is cannabis. All complaints should be forwarded directly to God, but be aware that accusing God of making mistakes is a very foolish thing to do. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #15 posted by goneposthole on April 16, 2002 at 04:21:13 PT |
| Go to the gallery at torontohemp.com. View the pictures as to why you should not smoke crack. Read their 'Hall of Shame'. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #14 posted by E_Johnson on April 15, 2002 at 23:50:06 PT |
| He's the gold standard for humor in America right now. The NORML ad gets flashed every night now that the Bloomberg story is hot. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #13 posted by E_Johnson on April 15, 2002 at 23:48:39 PT |
| Jay Leno is flashing the NORML ad every night and giving what he says is, "Mayor Bloomberg's Pot Smoking Tip of the Day" Tonight's tip was: A doob and some Barry White will help you get your freak on with your lady. And Kevin Eubanks said it sounded like a good tip. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #12 posted by dddd on April 15, 2002 at 19:31:41 PT |
| ..I'm waiting for someone who wants to argue that,,NORML doing this type of ad was a cheap ploy.... I would remind them that at least NORML is not funded by their tax dollars!.... ..I always like to imagine,,if there were such a thing as real,,actual "polls".....amongst 1000 taxpayers.They would be selected in proportion to income levels/population.,,so .in other words,,you would poll about 50 really upper income people,,about 100 upper middle class people,,,and the rest would be 850 Sheeple.,, OK,, now here is the sad problem;,,;;;"Almost everyone is stupid ,,and they are no longer real Americans,,because real American Patriots say;'No Taxation Without Representation!',It's a basic of Red White and Blue!"..,,, That was a near quote from my radical uncle!,,I'm not kiddin'!,,,,Uncle Fred..He had a huge vegetable garden just north of Seattle. . He grew alot of asparagus,and other offbeat vegetables like leeks,,eggplant,,rhubarb,,,,,never been stoned or drunk a day in his life!,,he was a deep sea diver in the Navy,,,,he was Grandmother Snuffbuckets' older brother,,, ,,his wife,,Aunt Lola,was institutionalized because she went off the edge somehow,,,, anyway,, I hope you dont think it's a redundant waste of time for me to tell about all this,,,but I think real Americans,,are able to open their mouths any time they want!...It is not "un-American", to say the shrub is like some kinda "king of England Asshole",who I do not consider as the legitimate,..,.?..naw,,just kiddin,,all good americans approve of Dubya........ ..There is a very,,very fine line between an American patriot,and a terrorist nowdays....an event like The Boston Tea Party 2002,,would be crushed by an anti-terror SWAT team....Paul Revere would just be another police pursuit,,,the cops would just put out a spike-strip,,and Paul Reveres' horse would stumble,,,and poor Mr Revere would be surrounded by cops with shotguns,,,,they would make him lay on his face,while they handcufed him...........yup,,,,,,, tell Goneposthole,and MikEEEEE to pass the word to Patrick, and Lehder,,,the "Paul Revere plan is off!",,,,,, dddd decided it was not a good idea!.....Why make waves if things aren't that fucked,, ,but I still like the idea of a red white and blue OJ Simpson Bronco with Paul Revere at the wheel in a big time LA police chase...................Even James Bond wouldn't know what's goin' on!.. ...............d...d..d..d ... [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #11 posted by potpal on April 15, 2002 at 17:49:32 PT |
| That was scary! Were they the 7000 dollar curtains covering the statue of justice behind him...? [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #10 posted by goneposthole on April 15, 2002 at 16:08:51 PT |
| not 'ahoot him' [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #9 posted by E_Johnson on April 15, 2002 at 16:08:28 PT |
| The mendacious Al Gore needs to have his feet held to the marijuana flames next. His next door neighbor during 1968-76 says Gore bought weed from him and smoked it every day, and that Al's nickname in the 'hood was Roach Clip. Because he always volunteered his when one was needed. I'll bet his other nickname was HUMPHREY!!! I mean, can't you just see it? [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #8 posted by goneposthole on April 15, 2002 at 16:07:37 PT |
| should collar Michael Bloomberg and ahoot him. he's a casual user. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #7 posted by E_Johnson on April 15, 2002 at 16:02:30 PT |
| “What I said back then was the truth (whoops, not the truth about enjoying pot, but the truth that I smoked it). In terms of, I had, certainly when I was younger (but not now! Oh, God, not now! And not in more than ten years! The stuff wears off! I swear it wears off!), as I suppose most people in my generation, experimented (see? It wasn’t ME, it was the TIMES! And it was a controlled experiment, not just a jam session with Bob Marley’s pharmacist! Say what?!?!? Dude, it's a plant. Bob Marley's pharmacy was Mother Earth. [ Post Comment ] |
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Comment #6 posted by kaptinemo on April 15, 2002 at 15:47:27 PT:
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| Some of you may have tumbled to this; many apparently have not. The light, laughing tone of this article is to pave the way for Bloomberg to do as nearly all the pols who have admitted using cannabis to do: Make contrite admissions of past 'transgressions'...and then to allow them to 'see the light'. Thusly, they shall be given absolution for their 'sins' (See? He smoked pot just like we did in school! He's one of us! He's an all-right guy!)...which will in turn enable them to really put the screws to us. As a disgruntled parishioner of a Catholic diocese once told me, the most reecnt converts are the loudest singers in church. Most pols who've ardently romanced Mary Jane and wore the 'secret smile' in the past have turned out to be the fastest to don jackboots and pick up truncheons. Newt Gingrich, Christine Todd Whitman, Klinton, Shalala, etc. come to mind. They'll all admitted use...and then went all out in their war on us. Bloomberg must not be allowed to weasel his way out of his remarks. He must be confronted at every turn with questions like "Do you believe that you should go to jail and otherwise have your life ruined for smoking cannabis?" If this is not done, the hypocrisy will be allowed to stand, as it has for the last 30 years. And Bloomberg will make Rudy look like a piker in his persecution of us... [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #5 posted by Sam Adams on April 15, 2002 at 15:31:34 PT |
| I'm sorry, but I think this article just shows how badly screwed up our modern society has become. We just don't care about others - if they're being f*cked over, or are really sick. 52,000 arrests? Does anyone ever stop to think what that MEANS? What it was like for the people being arrested? Is it a laughing matter that the government arrests 730,000 people a year for NOTHING? I mean, it would be one thing if the media was full of impartial, informative articles on cannabis policy and repercussions. But the fact is, this article is the ONLY article they can muster. It disgusts me. The Drug War is a lot more than just a bad policy. The tolerance for it among the general population, and our institutions like the media, educational institutes, and the medical and business communities, show how twisted the U.S. has become. We are raised and socialized to ASSUME that the government is some huge, immovable force that will take half our income, arrest and jail millions of people for unjust causes, and that's how life is supposed to be. As long as it's not ME! As long as MY family has its nice house in the suburbs, and my neighbors don't bother me, why should I care? [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #4 posted by qqqq on April 15, 2002 at 15:18:29 PT |
| ...only pompous closeminded ,turkeys,,or imperial asshole-heads of false integrity ,, would deny ever trying Marijuana!,, ,,and to those who would say they tried it,and didn't like it,,,,then the next question should be about alcohol,,and they should be asked if they've ever tried it,,and if they've ever been "drunk".....then, ,if they admit to being "drunk",,you ask them if they "enjoy" alcohol???,, If they say ;"no,,I dont enjoy alcohol.",, .."Yes,,I do ocassionally.".. .."So,,you drink alcohol,,but you dont enjoy it?".. ..."Well,,yes I kind of enjoy it,,but it is legal!".. If you never even tried it,,then I dont trust you!.. If you tried it,,but didn't care for it,,that's OK,,(if I believe you?)?? If you tried it,and enjoyed it!,,I will vote for your honest ass! ...it should be one way or the other!.........Any adjustment of reality,,drunk,,stoned,,fucked up, ,plowed, ,smashed,,pie-eyed,,,wasted ,,plastered......... All Illegal,,,No exceptions!..American law forbids the ingestion of any substance for purposes of recreational mind alteration... ..it's rather strange to think of the actual questionable nature of Marijuana prohibition compared to alcohol legality. .If one takes even a brief look at the glaring hypocricy,,,it ends up proving the 4q hypnotized zombie sheeple theory of political reality....... I will be glad to answer any questions concerning the nature of Reality.. ..until then,,,pretend you are normal. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #3 posted by Lehder on April 15, 2002 at 14:24:31 PT |
| http://www.cnn.com/video/us/2002/02/25/ashcroft.sings.wbtv.med.html My oh my, what a.... [ Post Comment ] |
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Comment #2 posted by Dan B on April 15, 2002 at 14:15:18 PT:
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| not clowining! Oops! Dan B [ Post Comment ] |
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Comment #1 posted by Dan B on April 15, 2002 at 14:14:27 PT:
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| That's right, Newsweek. This is, of course, the online version, and this article is exclusive to online readers (who are more likely to favor legalization than we are led to believe their non-computer-literate counterparts are), but I still find it significant that this bold of an article clowining on the war on cannabis is actually available from Newsweek. This would not have happened ten years ago. Not even five years ago. The times, they are a-changin'! Dan B [ Post Comment ] |
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