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| Just Say What? |
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Posted by FoM on March 15, 2002 at 07:34:35 PT By John Threlfall Source: Monday Magazine 
Despite the fact that my parents now live what many would consider a neo-hippie lifestyle on Salt Spring Island (sheep, art, vegetables) and that I have become quite outspoken in my views on marijuana reform, I did not grow up in a pot-positive family. Quite the opposite, in fact. One day, when I was just entering my troublesome teens, my father sat me down for a little talk. “If I ever catch you with drugs,” he said with his best don’t-even-think-of-it scowl, “I’ll call the police myself.” So I made sure he never caught me. As with most kids, threats alone weren’t enough to stop me from taking my first toke—but they were enough to ensure that I never told my parents until I was in my 30s. Now, after 22 years of responsible drug use, I find myself a walking contradiction of the U.S.-sponsored war on drugs: I’m healthy, articulate, creative, spiritual, efficient, responsible, well-educated, well-employed, have good reflexes, a good memory and an expansive mind (plus, I’m tremendously modest)—and I’m a daily pot smoker. My wife and I are planning to start a family, so lately we’ve been thinking about how we’ll talk to our kids about pot. Given the fact that the mainstream media takes great delight in trumpeting the type of “mother shoots heroin into daughter’s friend” story that raised eyebrows south of the border last week, it’s no surprise that it’s tough to find pro-pot parents willing to compare notes. “How do you talk about using drugs responsibly?” ponders Susan Sophia*, the mother of two boys, age 8 and 11. “Can those two words go into the same sentence? Drugs and responsibility? I think so.” Sophia, 42, has been smoking pot for 29 years and she’s currently grappling with the fact that her oldest son has just begun the U.S.-based D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program at his school. “Basically,” Sophia explains, “what his age group is told is, you know, ‘Don’t do drugs. Drugs are not a good thing.’” Sophia is hardly a poster girl for drug abuse: she’s career-driven, active in both community and church, is a responsible and caring mother. Yet she’s also not willing to stop smoking pot just because she’s raising children—but that doesn’t mean she’s going to sit down and light up in front of them, either. “I think kids need boundaries about how much information they’re given by their parents,” says Sophia. “I don’t think it’s helpful to give full disclosure. I think you undermine some of your role when you blur the lines too much with kids. You still have to be the parent. They’re looking for boundaries: how much, how often, all of that.” Jim and Gina Spec, however, take the opposite approach: they’re all for full disclosure, and when their two sons were old enough, they were completely up front about their own habits. “It’s important for kids to know what drugs are about, to know the difference between positive and negative, to know where the line is,” Jim tells me. “That knowledge is what’s going to protect them in the future.” “We waited until they were 13 and 14,” Gina adds. “That was the time they were ready to say, ‘Hey. What are you doing? Can I try?’” “‘Just say no’ is simplistic balderdash,” Jim scoffs. “You say no to a kid and they’re going to want to know why.” Gina tells me the watchwords for her sons are “be wary and aware.” The Specs, both pushing 50, have been regular smokers for the past three decades and, like Sophia, they are healthy, happy, well-adjusted people. OK, maybe they lean a little closer to the stereotypical hippie-parent image, but that doesn’t make them bad people; if anything, they’re just more honest than many of their peers. “After 32 years of smoking, we’ve never found anything harmful,” Jim preaches (no need—I’m converted). “There’s not many prescription drugs you could use for 32 years without side effects.” Also, like Sophia, the Specs used their own habits as teaching tools for their family, equating drug use with other issues of responsibility like sex, driving and drinking. “We were very negative about tobacco,” Jim adds, telling me how after a close family friend died of lung cancer, he shared his own struggle to quit smoking with the boys as a way for them to learn about the seriousness of addiction. “Neither of the kids smoke,” he smiles, telling me they still have a “no smoking—tobacco” ban in their house. Both Sophia and the Specs, however, find themselves in the minority when it comes to their views on parenting and responsible drug use. The Specs tell of how few of their sons’ friends’ parents have the slightest clue of what their children may be doing, and of the resulting alienation a closed mind and harsh attitude often brings to a family. “If you can’t be honest and straightforward with your family, what kind of family is that? What kind of society is that?” Gina sighs. “If you really believe that it’s wrong, that you have to hide it from your family, why do it?” Sophia concurs. “Because they’re still some taboo around it—and being illegal helps uphold that taboo—I’m not sure how much we openly share among parents. Who’s still using, who did use, how are you handling it with your kids? It’s not a topic that gets shared very much. I’d still be cautious.” “Ultimately,” Sophia sums up, “you’ve gotta go with what you think is right for your own little nuclear family. Any subject that’s taboo ends up being in the shadow place, and then we’re not getting a chance to look at it in a healthy way.” She pauses, then laughs. “Sometimes I think when my kids catch their first whiff of pot they’ll say, ‘Hey, that’s the perfume my mom always wore!’” M *All names changed to protect the innocent—and they are innocent, regardless of what the powers-that-be would have you believe. Note: How do you talk to your kids about drugs if you’re a lifetime pot smoker? Source: Monday Magazine (CN BC) Related Article & Web Site: Canadian Links Dare To Tell Your Kids The Truth Home Comment Email Register Recent Comments Help |
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| Comment #13 posted by FoM on March 16, 2002 at 10:51:14 PT |
| Hi Everyone,
I didn't know what to do with this article but wanted you all to see it if you want so here's the link.
The Old Mac That Went to Pot
2:00 a.m. March 16, 2002 PST "Agapornis" and "Prozac," a pair of 29-year-old computer nerds from Austin, Texas, traded chips for hits when they transformed an old all-in-one Mac into a device for smoking marijuana. Complete Article: http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,50820,00.html [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #12 posted by idbsne1 on March 15, 2002 at 17:04:42 PT |
| Toker00 said: "Become vocal, visual, in their faces, til they can't breath....." Couldn't we just strangle them?.....lol!!!!! Sorry, I had to go there.... idbsne1 [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #11 posted by DdC on March 15, 2002 at 15:59:16 PT |
| In the days of Yore, there came a man. A simple man. A Cannabis tokin', soft spoken, peaceful man. One fighting the injustices, of a corporate government. Where seniors sell their homes, to afford the price of a room. Where prisons rise faster than low income housing. Where chemical conglomerants, spend billions of untaxed profits, to keep chemicals, alcohol, tobacco and some drugs free. Then billions of taxes, to make war, on the less harmful Cannabis, in an all out assault, to assure its extinction.
Simultaneously, poisoning streams, air, soil and souls. Killing the aged, babies and frail. Building million buck bombs, and Panamanian laser destructors. Slaughtering ecosystems, dumping crude and radiation, into all 7 seas. This reincarnated sludge, of an age without light. The Untied States of Anemica. Bushit and his Blowhards, Rush, Ralph and Falwell, Walters and Assa. Where television evangelists are right, and the korpses rule the laws. Church states apply scoldings, to the wealthy killers, and billion dollar savings and loan scammers. Unemployment fills the streets, of the downtrodden masses. Searching for hope in the church. Finding a heathen devil weed sermon exchange, for a schwag cup of soup. To D.A.R.E. not question, the authority, by thinking for oneself, or by breaking the “Vow” of obedience.
So he grew Gods gift Tree of Life. Helped clothe the naked, fed the hungry, built shelter, fueled cars and gave aid to the afflicted. News reached Unkle Scams korpse, and they countered with force. “Prohibitions escalating, competitions the risk, and the gift is now pocked with even more restrictions.
Captured and shackled, and told his house and land were now seized, and his money and belongings, taken as evidence. And as far, as to what remained, looters were given, the ill gotten gains. The Sheriff retired there after the auction. The charge of indica cultivation, for a dying friends ills, snitched on by a drunk driver who plea bargained out in exchange for his gossip. The court Juster read the verdict, to the packed hall of rules. Guilty! The people have rendered what they were instructed, I wash my hands of it now.
Then up from the silence, since the start of this farce. Only one raised, clinched fist, word. Nevermore! From which an outcry arose. Its a lie, and we the people whole heartily disagree! For thus what the people actually say, is to keep your laws off of our bodies. To the depths, of the Abyss, we shall go. Before succumbing to the dictates, of a minority, of greed stricken, ole aqualungs. Huddled over piles of currency, in the dark, dank, musty, corners. And I furthurmore proclaim, this a righteous fight, to the cosmos end. For Evermore Until its Over! Peace, Love and Liberty or D.E.A.th! DdC National Missile Defense: Blowing The Whistle On Bad Science Cannabis Less Risky Than Alcohol/Tobacco, Says Report Feds Clash with San Francisco Over Marijuana D.E.A.th Deceptions Any similarities to anyone living or dead is totally coincidental. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #10 posted by Toker00 on March 15, 2002 at 15:28:50 PT |
| I don't understand how they took your license, but I can go to your site to find out. I know how you feel about being alone, and not having any support, legally, to get the drug laws changed. We all feel that way here. But, truth will prevail. Already, attitudes of SOME pols have changed around the world. Just not enough of them, here. That's because we need to sway the oppinion of the masses. Votes. That is the ONLY hope we have. Become vocal, visual, in their faces, til they can't breath, without making policy changes. Attend the Liberation Day, or Jay Day, at your states capital this year. I think it is the fourth of May. Even though the laws wont' change overnight, it will be good therapy for the soul. Just because something is illegal, that doesn't make it WRONG. We'll beat those lieing bast**ds, yet! Peace. Realize, then Legalize. [ Post Comment ] |
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Comment #9 posted by Rasta man on March 15, 2002 at 14:22:49 PT:
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| HERB was put on this earth by Jah (God) and what was put on this earth was for the service of man not to be made illegal by a bunch of baldheads that try to tell people what to do in life. only God and an individual person can know whats right and moral. HERB is something that cannot be wrong it just can't just the way it makes you feel and when's the last time you heard of pothead go on rampage and kill people. honestly if this kind of BS keeps going on a lot of INNOCENT PEOPLE will unfortunately go to jail beacuse we have evil politicians get their rocks off by passing bills making HERB a seruious offense but they want serious offenese then i want them to stop doing what they do on the side like the mistresses, sending the military to kill people because we can it is sad and wrong we must not let this crap keep going on and now im going to blaze some HERB! BLAZE ALL YOU WANT JAH BLESS! [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #8 posted by Patrick on March 15, 2002 at 11:54:12 PT |
| I agree with you that most of us and myself included would be paranoid of arrest to really speak our mind in the public arena because… A) There are too many of us to get together all at once. Imagine the logistics of millions. It would be as nuts as haj in Mecca! B) It's easier to shut up and stay free. And that is sad because without free speech there ain't no democracy. C) It remains illegal to possess and smoke it so fearing arrest ain't really paranoia now is it? It is a fact, isn't Mr. Hutchinson and Mr. Ashcroft, that you will arrest and incarcerate marijuana smokers. D) 750,000 pot-smokers arrested and two foreign terrorists. Kinda obvious which is the easier one to catch. In this environment of drug use = terrorist supporter it's pretty clear that they want to keep locking up cannabis users under the guise of terrorism. I don't blame good cops for these statistics. I blame poor laws and the politicians that let DEA goon squads interfere with state rights and the individual choice of what we put in our bodies. Drug Free America my @ss. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #7 posted by freedom fighter on March 15, 2002 at 11:20:13 PT |
| Would you please post your link to your site? I can understand and feel your plight. I myself am a prisoner of war. The state of Colo. tried to turn my son into a snitch and I said NO! So I was charged with growing a plant. Now, they are trying to conform my thoughts. I'm glad that I have been upfront and truthful to my only son. He is 18 now. When he was little kid, I told him that DARE will try to get him to tell that his daddy smokes pot. Years later, he told me that when he was takin the DARE classes, he knew kids that got HIGH before attending the DARE classes. What is even worse is that many kids were high on LEGAL drugs that were forced on them. My son now does not smoke deadly tobacco cigarettes nor does he drink. He smokes pot which I do not mind but am afraid that he can end up in a prison because of this harmless substance. So welcome Paul, I call CannabisNews.com my family. Sometime we would disagree or bicker among ourself like any loving family would do. We share one common goal which is to change the climate. To Dave in Flordia, Yea, many of the closet smokers need to come out and speak out. ff [ Post Comment ] |
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Comment #6 posted by paul peterson on March 15, 2002 at 10:23:47 PT:
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| I found, after using some 15 prescriptions to deal with the side effects of ritalin (Attention Deficit Disorder), that cannabis helped where none else would (most had high blood pressure, joint pain, wierd thought patterns-don't go there. Then a therapist told me to "move to California", meaning it might not have been too wierd to try pot at night to ward of the depressive slide I got from the ritalin, that (controversial as that is as well) helped me with focus, etc. Then I researched the Illinois statute (720 ILCS 550, #11), and found, in 1998, that in 1971, our state did the best darned medical marijuana law in the nation & the first one at that! Then, in 1979, they added this really good "mandatory" language, open ended, physician discretion based, without any DEA limiters to boot-Believing that I could get this validly authorized, I got some, tried it again, and almost saved my marriage, since I lost that nightly "cross" look on my face, my four kids almost started to like me again as well. All went well until she divorced me in 2001, fearing leagal reprisals (since I couldn't convince my doctor to give me the paper, since no one knew about the law). So I tried to get somethng going here, in Illinois, they took my license to practice law, merely because I tried to be honest, open, ethical, and advocate, for the state to do what the law SAID THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO DO. The Illinois ARDC even committed PERJURY to get my license. I am now penniless, alone, rather depressed about the sorry response I got from everyone in government, WHEN I MERELY TOLD THEM ABOUT THE LAW ALREADY ON THE BOOKS! I just got a FOIA response back from the state. Even though I have direct evidence, from a Senator Grotberg, (peobody, set the wayback to 1980) who stated in the legislative chamber 5/8/80 that the DDC(Dangerous Drug Commission-abolished by Reagan warriers in 1984)was finally getting cannabis (under this statute) into the hands of physicians to help their cancer patients! these people in 2002 had the gall to tell me that MARIJUANA has never been authorized under this statute - further that they have no record of any activities on the part of the DDC. Reagan, true to the legend that he and his minions ruthlessly destroyed every positive evidence of cannabis research, effectively buried both the best & earliest state program on pot use (here in Illinois, 1979-83?) and then destroyed any record of it ever having been conducted in the first place! Now, in the 21st century, I can't even get a local newspaper to print any story on this issue-or to get any local station to help me in any way. CBS News had this really good bit about the California 8 year old, with a remarkably similar chemical imbalance, etc., and still nobody will take on this story about our really good state statute. No advocacy group is willing to help me with funding (because I am alone, in Illinois, of all places) and I could use some support here, since I have had my occupation taken away on false pretenses (remember the PERJURY?). Please come to my site, check out what I have to say about this statute, I would like to keep going on this fight, (and by the way, my kids are rather bewildered by my lack of willingness to deny the truth about this controversial substance-the DARE program could easily be made a little bit better, by telling them to 1) stay away from drugs until they are older 2) then, keep to the harmless stuff like marijuana & 3) use this, as well as all drugs-alcohol included, in moderation and with the best safety in mind IF THEY ARE GOING TO USE ANY DRUGS (that might save their lives someday-If someone would only tell them that). PAUL PETERSON 312-558-9999 (CHICAGO, IL.) [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #5 posted by Dave in Florida on March 15, 2002 at 09:30:10 PT |
| What the antis don't realize is that quite a few of the 54% or whatever percent they pick, of the high school seniors that smoked pot in high schoolSTILL DO. I am from the class of 72' and most of the, no all of the people that I know that smoked then, still do. I am sure there is a lot of closet smokers, but most, ehhh, all of them will not be vocal on the issue in public or in any way be a critic or write to the congressman for fear of retaliation from "them" for exercising free speech. In private we all want the same thing, legalazation, but they are all afraid of being fired, or worse being arrested. I am one of them as well. We need a day to "come out of the closet" on a national level that every pot smoker in the country would know about and participate in, But a lot of smokers would still be paranoid about it and would not take part for fear of police. What do you think? [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #4 posted by TroutMask on March 15, 2002 at 09:21:00 PT |
| We (the WORLD we, not the U.S. we) are winning! This is so great to watch. My wife and I are already planning our canna-tour trip to UK next summer. But I'd much rather visit British Columbia. A much shorter flight and much better snowboarding! I just wished this had all happened years ago. -TM [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #3 posted by idbsne1 on March 15, 2002 at 09:19:16 PT |
| Here, here...... idbsne1 [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #2 posted by Toker00 on March 15, 2002 at 08:08:53 PT |
| Fabulous Testimony. Takes the words right out of thousands of our mouths. Ok. So if our Government lied about Cannabis, then, what else? We should change from the Gold standard to the Cannabis standard. Make precious PLANTS an economy base, rather than precious metals. Eventually, everyone would become rich and healthy, and eleminate the greed and hatred and evil that goes with the GOLD STANDARD. PRECIOUS CANNABIS. AND THEN YOU WOULD HAVE, OF COURSE, FOOL'S CANNABIS. HEMP. BUT UNLIKE FOOL'S GOLD, IT TOO, WOULD BE JUST AS VALUABLE AS CANNABIS, FOR ALL IT'S MAGNIFICENT USES. CANNABIS COULD BE GRADED, LIKE GOLD, ACCORDING TO IT'S POTENCY, AND OR HEALING CAPACITY.Yep, I'm Canna-obsessed. But it beats the hell out of being POWER/GREEDY obsessed. Peace. Realize, then Legalize. [ Post Comment ] |
| Comment #1 posted by FoM on March 15, 2002 at 07:53:46 PT |
| Search for Canadian Marijuana News http://www.canada.com/search/site/results.asp?keywords=marijuana
It's agreed: Decriminalize pot
Marijuana advocate 'a danger to society'
Zigzagging forward [ Post Comment ] |
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