The gift guide suggests such dorm-room essentials as a spray that's guaranteed "to neutralize any odor." Or what about this rock-concert item? It's a baseball cap with a hidden pocket "to keep your stash intact in a stylish stealth manner."

You know that war on drugs? High-school kids have slightly decreased their use of various stimulants.

But once they leave for those ivy-covered halls? P-a-a-a-r-t-y. Especially with pot, which the Department of Justice says is "epidemic" with 18- to 20-year-olds.

I happened to see the magazine when perusing the newsstand racks at Barnes & Noble, as I walked past the titles about tropical retirement havens that I find real interesting these days.

Then there it is: High Times, a blast from the past, paid monthly circulation of 225,000, still going strong in its 27th year devoted to marijuana. The typical High Times reader is a single young male who, when watching TV, prefers "Comedy Central," MTV and, for some reason, the Discovery Channel. Maybe those nature documentaries go well when lighting up.

I buy the magazine, put it in a brown paper bag and bring it home. It's the ads that fill the 118-page magazine that have caught my interest.

They vividly show the other side of that war on drugs. However you might feel about marijuana use, you have to give the advertisers credit for that famous American talent for innovation.

I dial the phone number for a product called "The Urinator," only $149.95, plus $16 for overnight shipping. "Comes with a free sample of synthetic urine," the ad says.

A guy who tells me his name is Mike Smith answers. The Urinator is basically a fluid bag that has an electronic heater controlled by a computer chip. The bag fits inside a cloth pouch with Velcro on all sides, so you can hide it inside your pants.

Let's say you're asked to take a urine test at that part-time construction job. No problem! You have that pouch filled with fake urine that's right at body temperature.

Mike tells me The Urinator isn't being sold to beat tests for illegal drugs. No, no. It's to protect people from employers carrying out "genetic profiling" that would show if an employee were predisposed to cancer or other diseases.

Come on, Mike, I say. Your customers are trying to beat tests for illegal drugs.

"Well, when you sell somebody a car, they take responsibility for not going 55 in a 25-mile-an-hour zone," Mike says. "It's the same here."

Mike says his product really does work. But when I call Corp Drug Testing in Seattle, I'm told they make sure — by watching you — that the urine really is yours and not from a pouch. Plus, they point out, if it's random testing, would you always be carrying The Urinator inside your pants?

I call Comprehensive Toxicology Services in Tacoma, which does lab work on drug tests. I ask about other products I've seen advertised in High Times, such as "carbo drinks" that say they detoxify your body in an hour.

The Tacoma lab faxes me the results of its tests on one such drink. "This particular product has a very high carbohydrate content, which may have a temporary diuretic effect that would help get a borderline-positive drug level to drop below testing cutoff limits," says the report. "This product is only going to help people who are casual users that know when they are going to be tested."

At the labs, they know about the High Times ads, and refine their detection techniques in response. But then there is always some new ad that says its product will beat the labs. Continuous innovation. It's the American way.

I call up some other advertisers. Here is The Hidden Jungle in Toronto, which sells marijuana seeds by mail. "American customers welcome," says the ad. I ask just how the contraband is sent across the border. I'm told to look on the firm's Web site, where I find a note that says "we use many different and varying tactics in shipping." It recommends recipients "acquire a P.O. Box."

I call up a phone number listed for Jamaica travel, and get voice mail. For $650 a week, a couple is promised lodging, a guided mountain tour and "Grade A Ganja." I identify myself on the voice mail. I don't get a call back.

I call up Jeff Steinborn, a Seattle attorney whose clients have gotten into trouble mostly because of marijuana. He runs a small ad that includes his Web site, www.potbust.com. I ask him about college kids and grass.

"I'm 58. I'm just not into youth culture," he says. Steinborn tells me about his clients, "They're basically gentle, law-abiding citizens. They are your neighbors who'd watch your house, feed your cats while you're gone."

I keep looking through the ads. Here is another dorm room necessity: Hanging wooden door beads for $25. "Turn any room into a hippy haven!" says the ad.

Ah, boomer parents, visiting your kid at college and seeing those beads on the doorway. What goes around, comes around, hmmm?

Source: Seattle Times (WA)
Author: Erik Lacitis, Seattle Times Columnist
Published: Saturday, September 8, 2001
Copyright: 2001 The Seattle Times Company
Contact: opinion@seatimes.com
Website: http://www.seattletimes.com/

Related Articles & Web Site:

High Times
http://www.hightimes.com/

Federal Crackdown on Students
http://cannabisnews.com/news/thread10449.shtml

Back To School Plans May Mean No College Aid
http://cannabisnews.com/news/thread10306.shtml

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Yes, indeed. Because the parents didn't manage to get the marijuana laws changed back in their day, now a new generation gets to live under threat of harsh penalties and persecution. What goes around, comes around, INDEED.

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