On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH
"Let's go pay a visit to Ole MacMarijuana's farm."
Snorted the pig," Gotta get Ole MacMarijuana for manfucturing the buds.."

eeeiiioooh, And on the Ole MacMarijuana's farm, the weasel squealed,"I am gonna send you to a wolf who dress in sheep clothing and the wolf will treat you..."""
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

E-i-E-iii-OH, snarled the wolf dressed in sheep clothing who is overweighted by 60 pounds of Big Macs,"Mr. MacMarijuana, you are an addict! You need to be treated."

Till Porky came in his You-Aitch-One
E-I-E-I-OH
Looking for sadistic fun
E-I-E-I-OH
With a snort-snort here, and a snort-snort there,
Here a snort, There a snort, everywhere a snort-snort
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

He spied the plants from way up high
E-I-E-I-OH
A nasty gleam entered his eye
E-I-E-I-OH
With a drool-drool here, and a drool-drool there
Here a drool, there a drool, everywhere a drool-drool
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

Porky checked his Little Black Book
E-I-E-I-OH
No bribes from this bunch had he took
E-I-E-I-OH
With a bribe-bribe here and a bribe-bribe there
Here a bribe, there a bribe, everywhere a bribe-bribe
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

So Porky's safe in calling his boys
E-I-E-I-OH
Who drove right out with all their toys
E-I-E-I-OH
With a Jeep-Jeep here and a Jeep-Jeep there
here a Jeep, there a Jeep, everywhere a Jeep-Jeep
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

When they got there they started their works
E-I-E-I-OH
With all the a-plomb of real jerks
E-I-E-I-OH
With a slash-slash here, and a slash-slash there
Here a slash, there a slash, everywhere a slash-slash
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

They feel real good 'bout what they did
E-I-E-I-OH
They tell themselves "It's for my kid!"
E-I-E-I-OH
With a lie-lie here, and a lie-lie there
Here a lie, there a lie, everywhere a lie-lie
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

When they get through: "There's no drugs here!"
E-I-E-I-OH
They all go out and swill some beer
E-I-E-I-OH
With a slurp-burp here and a slurp-burp there
here slurp, there a burp, everywhere a slurp-burp,
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

They tell themselves "I've saved some lives!"
E-I-E-I-OH
But in drunken rage some beat their wives
E-I-E-I-OH
With a SMACK!-SMACK! here and a SMACK!-SMACK! there
Here a SMACK!, there a SMACK!, Everywhere a SMACK!-SMACK!
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

That's something that NO POT-HEAD DOES
E-I-E-I-OH
They like to make love with a buzz
E-I-E-I-OH
With an "Oh-YES!" here and an OOOOOH-YES! there
Here an OHHH! there a "YESSSS!" everywhere an "OH-YE-ESS!"
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

This story's moral is understood
E-I-E-I-OH
What's good is 'bad', what's bad is 'good'
E-I-E-I-OH
With hypocrisy here, and hypocrisy there
(Oh Hell, I can't rhyme anymore)
(Slowly:)
On Pal-o-mar they had some weed
E-I-E-I-OH

"little miss Muffet,smoked a big bonghit"

"there was an old hippie,who lived in a shoe"

"Old Mother Buddard"

"How much for that plant in the window?..The one with the big old buds"